Day-by-Day

MAGA Madness: Martyrs, Medical Myths, and Media Manipulation

Donny turned a memorial for Charlie Kirk into a MAGA revival, rebranding him as a saintly martyr while spouting his infamous hatred for opponents. Meanwhile, the administration cooked up a pseudoscientific diagnosis linking Tylenol to autism—all to promote a ‘miracle cure’ that exists only in Donny’s delusional mind. To cap it off, his Pentagon turned into a censorship haven, requiring journalists to kiss the ring before reporting, because nothing screams democracy like muzzling the press. In a nutshell: faith, fallacies, and fascistic flair ramped up to eleven.

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The Don's Dystopia: A Comedy of Corruption and Command

Today, the President of the United States openly ordered the Attorney General to exact revenge on political foes like a mob boss sending out hit orders. Via Truth Social of course. Meanwhile, Tom Homan's bribery scandal evaporates faster than a magician's rabbit, leaving us all wondering if law and order has been relocated to a realm where only Donny's buddies thrive. As the Department of Justice morphs into a 'Just-Us' club for the Mad King and his cronies, democracy takes a backseat while the real clowns take center stage.

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The Don's Authoritarian Playbook: Silencing Speech, Dismantling Dissent

Donny’s minions at the FCC attempt to bludgeon ABC's broadcast license over a comic jab from Jimmy Kimmel, with Ted Cruz reluctantly nodding in disapproval of these mobster-esque tactics. Meanwhile, his defamation lawsuit against The New York Times gets swiftly tossed as yet another farce, revealing his strategy of harassment rather than genuine legal claims. And if that weren't enough, he snuffs out a 43-year peace vigil with a toddler's demand to ‘take it down’ because it hurt his royal aesthetic, proving that his rule is all about intimidation and incapacity to tolerate criticism—making freedom of speech a selective perk in his erratic kingdom.

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The Politburo of the Don: Confirmations, Conspiracies, and Courtroom Shenanigans

King Don's Senate confirmed 48 lackeys faster than you can say 'patronage,' while his UK state visit showcased his diplomatic finesse (or lack thereof) with absurd boasts, gaffes and threats like an unhinged toddler. Now he’s eyeing the Federal Reserve, hoping to turn it into his personal cheer squad, proving once again that for the Mad King, every institution is simply a stage for his ego. Democracy? Nah, it's just a road bump in Donny's grand parade of power.

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The Authoritarian Circus: A Clown Show of Censorship and Scapegoating

Donny's authoritarian antics have reached new heights, from branding antifa as non-existent terrorists to silencing late-night satire. The Mad King’s media purges and press restrictions only bolster his narrative of a dangerous left while hiding under the guise of 'logistical reasons.' Meanwhile, in a stroke of genius, the DOJ quietly deletes a damning report on right-wing violence—perfectly timed after a political ally's assassination—a case study in political storytelling. This is top-tier dictatorship dressed in the garb of democracy, and the clown car shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.

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Windsor Happenings: Protest Pageantry and Donny's Dismal Welcome

As the UK rolled out the welcome mat for The Mad King, it wasn't with roses but with projections of his sordid past alongside Jeffrey Epstein, much to the chagrin of royal protocol. While protesters plan to take to the streets in droves, police were quick to play bouncers to free speech, arresting dissenters for bad vibes under the guise of 'malicious communications'. Amidst the farcical military displays and the UK's desperate attempt to humor Dozy Don, it’s crystal clear: the real royal treatment comes in the form of public outrage, overshadowing any pompous parades with banners of irony that scream, 'Go home, Donny!'

Donny's Delirious Display of Authoritarian Antics

Today, Donny threw an epic tantrum when asked about his business conflicts, threatened a journalist, and proceeded to launch a $15 billion defamation lawsuit against the New York Times for daring to report what is ultimately a softened version of the truth. Meanwhile, JD Vance turned political mourning into a witch hunt against 'far-left' dissenters, exposing just how fragile this regime's grip on power really is.

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Hypocrisy is Off the Charts

Donny’s latest antics confirm he’s the MVP of chaos, declaring he ‘couldn’t care less’ about healing America while calling for a good ol’ beatdown of the ‘radical left’. After a tragedy, instead of unity, he sharpens the knives, ensuring anyone who dares to tweet a sigh about his fallen golden boy gets fired faster than you can say ‘free speech’. Meanwhile, Toilet Cop Nancy Mace jumps on the radical-left narrative bandwagon, pinning all blame on Democrats without so much as a shred of evidence. It's a classic case of hypocritical theatrics, with the government acting as the world's worst cancel culture enforcer, while actual calls for eugenics on Fox News are just dismissed as ‘boys being boys’.

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Tyranny in the Making: From Grievance Theater to National Guard Tactics

Donny, the reigning king of chaos, continues his tyrannical tour with a mix of incendiary rhetoric blaming the ‘radical left’ for every ill, while sending troops into Democratic cities like a misguided version of Risk. In a dystopian twist, UC Berkeley has taken snitching to new heights, reporting students for straying too far from Donny’s narrative on free speech. And while his energy chief spins fantasies about AI saving the planet overnight, we're left to wonder if the truth will ever get a look-in or if the propaganda machine will keep rolling unabated. Welcome to a world where dissent is deadly, and compliance is a way of life!

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Donny’s Circus: From Faux Transparency to Fuzzy Health Concerns

Donny’s regime expertly deflected accountability by blocking the release of Epstein files and punishing dissent for the late fascist idol Charlie Kirk. Amidst the clamor, a wobbly-faced Don tried to win over booing crowds at Yankee Stadium, proving even true illness can’t distract from the nation’s disdain. Meanwhile, his economic cheerleader, Lutnick, spun inflation and unemployment into a fairy tale of prosperity—because why not? It’s all just another day in the kingdom of delusion, where the rule of law takes a backseat to a narrative built on shaky ground.

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Tragedy and Tantrums in Politics

Charlie Kirk has been murdered by an unknown assailant, cue the rallying cry for King Don, who hasn’t missed a second to weaponize the tragedy for political mileage. Meanwhile, Congress's own Toilet Cop, Nancy Mace, erupted in a theatrical meltdown, proving yet again that the GOP’s finest moments involve grandstanding rather than governing. As both sides parade their hypocrisy and celebrate division, democracy looks more like a sideshow every day, with the risk of authoritarianism marching ever closer on its heels.

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The White House Circus: Signature Shenanigans and Judicial Jests

Donny and his crew dance around Donny's signature like it was an unsightly pimple, while Judge Simmons turned felony fraud into creative writing. Meanwhile, the Trump team's revisionist history blamed every ill from hurricanes to job losses on Biden, showcasing a masterclass in deflection. Protests brewed as The Don dined with a villainous entourage in a fortress of National Guards, unaware that transparency is not just a concept for other people.

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Skewed Justice, Silenced Voices, and Scandalous Scrapbooks

Donny is still heavily embroiled in Epstein memorabilia, has some jaded courtroom losses, and an egregious Supreme Court nod to racial profiling. Meanwhile, America's Dad, Tom Hanks, found that dissent in Donny's America is a one-way ticket to cancellation, with West Point joining the ranks of institutions twisted by Trumpian revenge. It's all a grotesque show of power where the only ticket to ride is loyalty to the wannabe king himself.

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Donny's Circus: From Epstein to Tennis, the Authoritarian Clown Show

Donny’s crew is spinning tales thicker than old golf course turf. House Speaker Mike Johnson claims Donny’s an undercover hero, but only after a summer of dodging questions on the Epstein files—cue the eye rolls. Meanwhile, Dozy Don’s cringe-worthy US Open cameo got him booed and censored, showcasing his fragile ego and flailing public image. On the economic front, Scott Bessent waves off billion-dollar losses from tariffs like they’re just bad Yelp reviews, all while the reality of economic strain looms large. If this administration is the new standard, we’re all in for the world’s longest, most embarrassing circus act.

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War on Tents: The Authoritarian Circus Continues

Donny ordered the dismantling of a historic peace vigil, declaring war on a tent because it clashed with his vision of pristine decor. And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, Operation Patriot 2.0 has emerged, terrorizing immigrant communities under the guise of public safety while leveraging spectacle over substance.

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Donny's Tyrannical Tour: Military Mania and Made-Up Mandates

In yet another display of kingly caprice, Donny rebranded the Pentagon as the Department of War, proving that ‘defense’ was just a euphemism for endless conflict. Meanwhile, in a staggeringly clueless move, he threatened to deploy the National Guard to Portland, mistaking old Fox News footage for a current crisis. As if that wasn’t enough, 475 unsuspecting workers were scooped up in an ICE raid at a Hyundai factory, showcasing a spectacular commitment to mass deportations over economic stability. Chicago, brace for a federal invasion as The Don’s ego rides shotgun on this chaotic journey toward an authoritarian reckoning.

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Chaos in Charge: A Health Secretary, A Dinner Party, and a War-Tastic Rebrand

In today’s episode of ‘The Don’s Wild Ride,’ we have Health Secretary Bobby Ballbag, a man who treats facts like a buffet, enduring a Senate grilling that affirmed he’s dangerously out of touch with reality. Meanwhile, Donny hosted his billionaire pals for a lobster-fueled soirée, proving that even kings need their court jesters close. And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance—rebranding the Department of Defense to the Department of War, because why not escalate things into hilariously outdated militarism? This administration is all about vibes over facts, and it’s as amusingly terrifying as a toddler with a flamethrower.

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The Don's Carnival of Chaos: Immigration, Immorality, and an Epic Fail

In a spectacle fit for a lifetime achievement award in authoritarian madness, King Don relocates immigration detainees to the hellscape that is Angola Prison, because nothing screams 'land of the free' like locking up the vulnerable in a former plantation-turned maximum security nightmare. While Vance offers hollow platitudes post-mass shooting, The Don feuds with Rosie O'Donnell, threatening her citizenship. Meanwhile, his administration's desperate attempts to distract from real issues take the spotlight, making all the wrong headlines, reinforcing the notion that cruelty, rather than governance, is the point of his grand strategy. Bravo, Donny; your show gets more absurd with every act!

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A Festival of Flops: Donny's Dance with Democracy and Disdain

Donny's attempts to sweep the Epstein scandal under the rug with summer recess backfired worse than one of his hairdos in a storm. Meanwhile, California's new ICE alerts turn schools into dystopian panic rooms, a clear sign that its residents are bracing for the nightmare that is the current administration. It's not all doom and gloom, though: federal courts just told Donny his whims don’t dictate law, reminding him that he’s not the king he thinks he is, while his militarized antics in LA got slapped down hard, proving once more that democracy still has a fighting chance against his blundering autocratic ambitions. Grab the popcorn; this circus is far from over.

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Labor Day Laugh Fest: Workers vs. The Don's Selfie Show

On Labor Day, a sea of protest signs greeted The Don as he pulled a classic dictator move, erecting a banner with his own face outside the Department of Labor. The crowds, screaming 'Workers Over Billionaires,' reminded him that his 'American Workers First' mantra is nothing more than corporate lip service. Meanwhile, he continues to dismantle labor rights faster than he can say 'You're fired!' Still, while Donny enjoys his personal brand worship, the workers are showing up to remind him who's really doing the fighting: not the billionaires he fronts for, but the everyday heroes he consistently undermines.

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Donny's Dark Side: Kids, Courts, and Cults

Donny's administration is hell-bent on outdoing history's worst—deporting unaccompanied kids while courts and common decency attempt to intervene like reluctant parents at a toddler’s tantrum. From spinning authoritarian webs by threatening judges and slashing civil liberties, to calling immigration policy a cruel game, it’s all in a day's work for King Don.

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Donny's Death Defying Stunt and Bake Sale Democracy

Donny's death rumors fizzled out faster than his credibility as he played golf, sending his cult into another fundraising frenzy. Meanwhile, in the grand tradition of democracy-busting, he’s cooking up electoral chaos with a voter ID push that could make a dictator blush—because who needs Grandma voting when you can turn elections into his personal bake sale? As always, The Don hilariously ignores the Constitution, determined to rig the game while claiming it’s all about ‘security’. Nothing says freedom like disenfranchisement!

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The Don's Spectacular Circus: Assassination Attempts and Climate Blunders

In a stunning display of prioritization, The Don is busy revoking Secret Service protection for Kamala Harris—because what’s security when you can enact petty political revenge? Meanwhile, he’s also cutting $679 million from clean energy projects, proving that his true talent lies in cramming the nation back into the fossil fuel age. To top it off, the Great Flip-Flop continues as Donny welcomes 600,000 Chinese students to U.S. universities, leaving MAGA supporters reeling. It seems the only consistent theme in his governance is chaos, with a side of vindictiveness served cold.

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Firefighters, the CDC, and Faux Voting Rights: A Trifecta of Tyranny

In Donny's America, every critical service is second to the administrative whims of ICE, as immigrant firefighters are pulled from saving lives to serve deportation papers—'cause who needs help when you can flex authority? Meanwhile, the CDC's chief got the boot for daring to prioritize science over Donny's ego, resulting in health policies that read more like conspiracy theories. And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, Louisiana's Republicans unveil their 'Voting Rights Act'—a euphemism for voter suppression that even Orwell would roll his eyes at. It’s a masterclass in undermining democracy while basking in the glow of authoritarianism.

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Donny's Dystopia: FEMA, RICO, and Third-Term Tantrums

In Donny's America, FEMA workers risking their jobs for truth are swiftly silenced, while the real crime wave consists of a 93-year-old philanthropist and an airborne sandwich. Meanwhile, King Don dreams of a third term as if the Constitution is merely a suggestion. From turning dissent into a felony to weaponizing the legal system against opponents, it seems authoritarianism isn’t just creeping—it’s fully commandeered the Oval Office, perhaps while redecorating with gold trim.

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The Mad King's Circus: Fawning, Fund Cuts, and War Cry

Donny's glorified clown cabinet squirmed and squealed praises for their Dear Leader while virtual chaos unfolded outside their bubble. Meanwhile, he’s dismantling vital infrastructure funding in California, all to stoke his vindictive flames, and plans to rename the 'Department of Defense' to the 'Department of War', proving he prefers conflict over diplomacy. With sycophants dancing at his feet and a flair for the catastrophic, the only direction this carnival is heading is deeper into authoritarian absurdity.

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Donny's Delusions: Fat Shaming, Magnet Mayhem, and Militarized Madness

Donny's weight-shaming tirades against Governor Pritzker—while he himself resembles a bloated balloon—showcase a desperate grasp at authority, all while he concocts imaginary crime waves to justify deploying armed troops on the streets of DC. Meanwhile, his ramblings about magnets reveal a profound ignorance and probable dementia yet somehow become the new gospel for the GOP faithful. It's a wild show of intimidation and chaos, courtesy of your favorite authoritarian wannabe.

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The Circus of Insanity: JD Vance's Historical Hijinks and Donny's Makeup Meltdown

JD Vance buries himself in historical revisionism with a ludicrous claim that WWII ended through negotiations—ignoring the realities of unconditional surrender like a seasoned absurdist. Meanwhile, King Don, with his face dripping in makeup and awkward hand maneuvers, continues his descent into farce, proving that presidential confidence is often just a veneer for a failing ego. Welcome to the dystopian comedy show that is the GOP circus.

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Donny's Delusional Circus: From Felons to Faded Celebrities and Political Farces

In the latest escapades of King Don, we see him rallying to free a convicted election fraudster, claiming she's a misunderstood hero in a twisted tale only he can spin. Meanwhile, the recruitment of washed-up Dean Cain as ICE’s new mascot only serves to spotlight Donny’s desperation for a PR boost, as he trades justice for celebrity fluff. And let’s not forget Nancy Mace’s embarrassing flop of a speech, where fewer people showed up than would for a three-legged race at a retirement home, showing that dissent within his ranks is just as toxic as his brand of politics.

Donny's Desperate Defense: A Circus of Corruption and Vengeance

Donny's world descends into farce as convicted predator Ghislaine Maxwell becomes his unlikely mouthpiece, bolstering his narrative just as she's shuffled to a cushy prison. Not content, he unleashes his FBI goons on John Bolton, preempting criticism with a raid that screams 'political retribution'. Meanwhile, he's eying Chicago with militaristic fervor, aiming to flex his authoritarian muscles by deploying troops in a city witnessing plummeting crime. It’s a comedy of errors that reveals a darker reality: a power-hungry leader bent on silencing dissent and consolidating control over a bewildered nation.

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Donny's Wild Ride: Crimefighting, Grass, and Gutsy Redistricting

In a world gone mad, King Don decides he’s the Batman D.C. needs—only to promptly bumble into a lawn care monologue instead. Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom plays the strategist, countering GOP gerrymanders while Donny simply whines on social media. And if that’s not enough, the administration’s witch hunt against visa holders has effectively conflated dissent with terrorism. All the while, RFK Jr. leads a crusade against science, prompting health workers to plead for sanity amid a climate of fear. Truly, we’re living in the golden era of political farce, and the grass has never looked better—or more dangerous.

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Democracy's Funeral: The GOP Goes Full Dictatorship

The Don and his merry band of misfits continue their march towards authoritarianism, from gerrymandering in Texas to deploying troops against unarmed protests in D.C. The Mad King’s obsession with sanitizing history and purging dissenters from the intelligence community is just the cherry on top of this tyrannical sundae. While the GOP cheers from the sidelines, America watches helplessly as the very foundations of democracy crumble beneath the weight of ego and fearmongering. Farewell to fair elections, free expression, and the rule of law—it’s all just theater now, and the script has been rigged.

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The Power Play: Donny's Electoral Shenanigans and Authoritarian Playground

In the latest power grab, Donny attempts to redefine democracy as his personal playground, pushing gerrymandering and trashing mail-in ballots under the guise of 'fairness'. Meanwhile, his thuggish ICE agents engage in state-sponsored kidnappings, proving that intimidation is the order of the day. All the while, Donny’s energy policies send household bills soaring, as he points fingers at everyone but himself, because what’s accountability when you’re living in an autocrat's wonderland?

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Donny's Diplomatic Debacle: A Masterclass in Misdirection

Donny hosted a summit that turned into a farcical game of ‘Who’s Who’ while desperately trying to play catch-up with the world's leaders. His attempt at diplomacy was overshadowed by awkward compliments and a bombshell hint at extending his rule through 'emergency' wartime elections. With a call from Vlad interrupting the show, Donny proved once again that serious leadership is as foreign to him as genuine humility.

Donny's Dastardly Diplomacy: A Masterclass in Malfeasance

Donny is taking a victory lap after achieving nothing but humiliation in his cosy up with his pal Vlad, once again not realising he's been played. Meanwhile his incompetent clown staff left sensitive papers in a hotel printer - because that's just how they roll. Simultaneously, his hostile takeover of Texas redistricting has seen mass-protests break out in Texas who are outraged at Donny's slide towards dictatorship.

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The Political Circus: Putin’s Puppet and Vance’s Waterworks

Donny’s summit with Putin in Alaska turned out to be little more than a farcical photo op, with King Don collapsing under the weight of his own uselessness yet again. After rolling out the red carpet for a War Criminal, Donny came back with zilch. Meanwhile, over in Ohio, Vice President JD Vance took ’public service’ to new depths, commandeering taxpayer dollars to smoothen his birthday kayak adventure, because nothing says ‘government of the people’ like transforming public resources into personal playgrounds. The only real agreement was that corruption has officially become the new political norm—welcome to the reality show we call America’s leadership!

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Chaos and Legal Shenanigans: The Trump Saga

Melania steps into the spotlight, threatening Hunter Biden with a $1 billion lawsuit for linking her to Epstein—classic deflection from an awfully sticky scandal. Meanwhile, Donny's Nobel desperation reaches new lows, cold-calling Norway for a golden ticket to glory while fabricating six phantom peace triumphs. JD Vance continues to be an international pariah, facing protesters everywhere, while Gavin Newsom fires back against Texas gerrymandering with partisan redistricting. It's a circus, and the main act is a clown with a golden toupee!

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The GOP Circus: Donny Rants About Grass, Whilst the GOP Line Up to Endorse the Madness

In a dazzling display of debauchery, Donny's followers have gone full circus mode, spinning wild tales of D.C. as a lawless wasteland, all to cover for their Dear Leader’s increasingly hallucinated command over law enforcement. From Tim Burchett claiming sleepovers to avoid crime to Charlie Kirk biting the dust with calls for a military coup, it's a sad spectacle of sycophants selling their souls to keep up with the ever-shifting narrative. And while the feds flex their muscle in local policing, you have to wonder—how many more clowns will jump into this authoritarian clown car?

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King Donny's Comedy of Errors: Tariff Terrors and Legal Shenanigans

Once again, King Donny has opted for the classic delay tactic, extending tariffs and leaving U.S. businesses on a short leash. Meanwhile, he's threatening Jerome Powell with legal action over a perfectly mundane renovation — because nothing spells 'confident leadership' like empty lawsuits and public drama. Meanwhile, the shadow of gerrymandering looms as he pressures Texas Republicans to reshape districts like Play-Doh. It’s a trifecta of chaos, distraction, and power grabs dressed up as economic policy.

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Donny's Dystopia: National Guards, Gender Wars, and Glittering Tariffs

In a stunning display of misplaced priorities, Donny deployed the National Guard amidst a crime lull, claiming it was 'Liberation Day'—because nothing screams freedom like a militarized capital. Meanwhile, his Defense Secretary, Pete Hegseth, took a lovely stroll into the past by campaigning for the repeal of women's voting rights, proving that regressive ideologies are alive and well. And just to sprinkle some chaos on his cupcake of governance, Donny exempted gold from tariffs, likely because he can't resist his bling addiction. Truly a week of authoritarian fantasies and gilded missteps!

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Donny Plays Diplomat: A Summit for the Ages (But Not for Ukraine)

In a masterclass of ineptitude, Donny is set to hold a 'historic' summit with war criminal Putin in Alaska—because nothing screams peace like a dictator's getaway on U.S. soil! Forget Ukraine’s President Zelensky; it's all about Donny and Vlad discussing strategies over hors d'oeuvres, while the real victims are ignored. Historically, Donny’s negotiations have been as effective as a screen door on a submarine, and this occasion promises to be no different, leaving Ukraine weaker and Putin flexing. Bravo, King Don, for yet another display of diplomatic brilliance!

Donny's Daring Double Dip: Legal Loopholes and Larcenous Legacies

In yet another episode of Donny's authoritarian theatrics, we see Howard Fucknut leading a calculated raid on Harvard's patents, all while the Mad King flips the legal system the bird by deporting Venezuelan migrants despite court orders. This spectacle of bureaucratic bullying and utter lawlessness isn't just about controlling higher ed or flouting judicial authority—it's about solidifying Donny's iron grip on America, one smash-and-grab at a time.

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Donny's Descent: Jobs, Jabs, and Jaw-Dropping Constitution Revisions

Donny's antics hit new lows as he jams the economy with fabricated job figures, dumps mRNA vaccines because Facebook told him to, and rewrites the Constitution like it’s his personal diary. With a tragicomic flair, he dismantles democracy one unconstitutional decree at a time, all while his jesters nod along in silence, proving once again that the real pandemic is the madness infecting Washington.

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Superheroes, Scandals, and Golden Gimmicks: A Trumpian Trilogy

Former 'Superman' Dean Cain joins Donny's administration's ICE team, cementing his role in the mass deportation saga with a shiny signing bonus. Meanwhile, JD Vance and his crew gather for an exclusive dinner to 'strategize' over Epstein’s tangled webs—because ynothing says you're innocent like a meeting specifically to get your stories straight. And just to seal the absurdity, Tim Cook shows up with a literal block of gold for Donny, proving that in this circus, corruption isn't just normalized; it’s the main act.

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Rooftop Rambles: Donny's Delusions on Display

In yet another baffling episode, the ever-diminishing Donny graced us with a rooftop rant, claiming to gift America with White House renovations that are anything but tasteful. Was it an earnest press conference or a melodramatic spectacle? Who knows! What’s clear is that his version of presidential decorum is as shaky as his grasp on reality. At least he remembered to wear pants this time—small mercies, right?

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Donny's Redistricting Rumble and Rwanda's Relocation Racket

In a brazen display of political artistry, Donny's gerrymandering gambit in Texas has ignited a reactive political circus, with Democrats finally growing a backbone and signing up for the map-making mayhem. Meanwhile, he's outsourcing America’s immigration mess to Rwanda, patting himself on the back while deftly dodging responsibility for his draconian deportation tactics. It's like a twisted game of ‘Dodge the Democracy’—just when you thought it couldn't get worse, he ups the ante by moving the proceedings overseas.

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Texas-sized Tantrums and Smithsonian Sanitization

Over 50 Texas Democrats fled to avoid a GOP plot to engineer electoral chaos with gerrymandered maps. Meanwhile, the Smithsonian, under the watchful gaze of King Don, decided that historical accuracy about impeachment is just too much to handle, scrubbing it cleaner than a toddler’s art project.

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Donny's Dismal Day: Gilded Ballrooms and Golfing Shenanigans

In a new feat of absurdity, Donny plans to splash $200 million on a swanky ballroom because, apparently, Gold is the new white in the White House. Meanwhile, the special prosecutor who dared to challenge his supremacy is under investigation—classic Donny retaliation! And if that wasn't enough, he’s caught cheating at golf like it’s a second hobby. A true leader: prioritizing lavish spending, avenging personal grievances, and bending the rules—because why not?

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Donny's Descent into Dictatorship: Firing Truth, Nuking Russia, and Strangling Public Media

In a true display of fragile masculinity, Donny fires the Bureau of Labor Statistics chief for reporting dismal job numbers, proving that facts have no place in his fantasy economy. Meanwhile, he’s positioning nuclear submarines off Russia's coast—because nothing says stability like a nuclear tantrum. To top it all off, he’s defunded the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, ensuring America’s future is filled with propaganda and ‘Lock her up’ chants instead of educational programming. Bravo, King Don, for consistently redefining the limits of incompetence.

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Tariffs and Pardons: A Masterclass in Moral Bankruptcy

Donny's tariff tantrum is hitting 69 countries across the globe as he crafts economic policy like a petulant child throwing a tantrum over not getting enough toys—trading partners, you’ve been warned! Meanwhile, in a breathtaking display of moral decay, he’s toying with pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell, the ultimate prize for 'friends in high places'. Clearly, decency is off the table and corrupted favoritism is the new normal in the realm of King Don. Who needs democracy when you have the art of the deal, right?

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America: Welcome to the Authoritarian Lite Club!

Well, it seems Donny’s got a knack for joining exclusive clubs, and now the U.S. has snagged a spot on Civicus's watchlist alongside notorious human rights violators. From using the military to crush dissent to hiring an immigration enforcement army with signing bonuses that scream 'we mean business,' King Don is redefining cruelty as public policy. Meanwhile, the EPA is convinced climate change is just a liberal fairy tale, aiming for an environmental apocalypse while the coal industry high-fives. Truly, the land of the free is becoming the land of the surveilled and subdued. Remember when we thought America was the beacon of democracy? Guess we missed the memo – it’s all about stars, stripes, and a side of authoritarianism now!

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The Judicial Jester and Approval Abyss

In a spectacle fit for the Mar-a-Lago talent show, Donny's legal lapdog Emil Bove has been confirmed for a lifetime gig on the 3rd Circuit, despite nearly 1,000 DOJ alums warning he's a judicial disaster. Meanwhile, our dear King Don finds his approval ratings sinking faster than a lead balloon, thanks to his economic blunders and immigration fiascos. It seems the only thing soaring is the level of absurdity in his circus of governance, where loyalty trumps law and the Constitution is but a forgotten scroll.

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Donny’s Grand Tour of Insecurity: Insults, Lawsuits, and Healthcare Hijinks

When he’s not flailing insults at political leaders like a petulant child at Turnberry, Donny’s lawyering up to hound Rupert Murdoch before he kicks the bucket, revealing just how desperate he is to silence unfavorable press. And if that wasn’t enough, he recently tried to snatch Medicaid from Planned Parenthood, only to be thwarted by a judge who clearly didn’t get the memo about Donny’s ‘family values’ agenda. Meanwhile, democracy holds on by a thread as King Don’s antics paint a precarious picture of authority gone amok.

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Golf, Grift, and the Glaring Lack of Integrity

In a world where the golf gods frown upon cheaters, Donny seems to have found his divine loophole—caught on video with a caddie enhancing his swing, he continues to play the game like he plays politics: with zero accountability. Meanwhile, in a classic Donny maneuver at Turnberry, he welcomes EU President Ursula von der Leyen wielding a 15% tariff like a badge of honor, turning a so-called trade negotiation into more of a bemusing hostage scenario. Watching this circus unfold, you can't help but wonder if the art of the deal now includes blackmailing allies while pretending to uphold integrity—what an absolute spectacle!

Golfing Through Dissent: Donny's Scandalous Distractions

While Scotland erupted in protests shouting "Trump’s not welcome here!", Donny spent his time swinging clubs at Turnberry, blissfully ignoring the uproar. Meanwhile, as the Epstein scandal loomed, he decided that a juvenile meme poking fun at Obama would suffice as a masterclass in deflection. It's almost charming how desperate he is to distract the masses while pilfering the royal treatment of golf and social media shenanigans.

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Donny’s Disgraceful Getaway and Corrupt Shenanigans

In a desperate dash from scandal, King Don heads to Scotland where protests have replaced red carpets, all while indulging in golf at taxpayer expense. Meanwhile, his crony Deputy AG Todd Blanche cozies up to sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, seemingly offering her freedom in exchange for a little loyalty. Because why not obliterate justice for personal gain? This is just another day in the circus that is the Trump administration; corruption has never looked so casual.

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Donny’s Descent: Distracting Scandals and Authoritarian Stunts

In his latest bid for dominance, Donny is juggling distractions like a circus clown under fire. With a DOJ witch-hunt on Obama, a showy photo-op at the Fed with a visibly annoyed Powell, and a horrifying executive order to sweep the homeless into the abyss, it's clear he’s more focused on vengeance than governance. Meanwhile, DeSadist’s awkward press conference melt-down just shows how far the apple falls from the tree of competence, caught in the crossfire of a protest against their circus of moral decay. If it’s authoritarianism you’re after, look no further than the theatrics of this trio.

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King Don's Quirky Constitutional Capers

In a remarkable twist of fate, Donny finds himself entangled in Epstein's web while spewing conspiracies of a coup led by Obama, clearly a distraction from his own scandals. Meanwhile, the 9th Circuit Court rains on his birthright citizenship parade, declaring his executive overreach unconstitutional. Not to be outdone, Donny's administration bullies Columbia University into a hefty settlement, effectively declaring war on academic freedom in a stylish combo of bigotry and authoritarianism. Truly, legislative lunacy at its finest!

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Donny's Distraction Derby: Treason, MLK, and a Touch of Epstein

In a week as chaotic as a toddler's birthday party, Donny's diving headfirst into the deep end of absurdity. First, he pulls treason allegations out of his hat against Obama, because why not distract from the Epstein mess? Not to be outdone, his team releases MLK assassination files like they're the next big Netflix documentary, ignoring the King family's input. Meanwhile, activists troll him in Scotland with signs linking him to Epstein. All in a day's work for the self-proclaimed Master of Distracting Disaster!

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Donny's Circus: A Tour of Tyranny and Tantrums

In the latest chapter of the autocratic soap opera, Donny's feud with Harvard escalates to court, proving that if you're not worshiping his big beautiful budget, you get decimated. Meanwhile, drownings of detainees in Florida's makeshift concentration camps illustrate his heartless immigration policy, while his loyal enablers block transparency on the Epstein scandal, opting for a summer recess instead of accountability. Donny’s regime thrives on fear, retaliation, and a surreal denial of reality, making sure dissent is crushed under a hefty pile of crayon-crafted propaganda.

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A Farcical Distraction: Donny's Absurd Rhetoric

In a desperate bid to overshadow the Epstein scandal, King Don resorts to ridiculous antics on Truth Social, including an AI-generated video dreaming up Obama's arrest set to a jaunty tune. While he spins absurd tales of 'winning' against the backdrop of serious allegations, he dismisses critiques with a cavalier attitude. Donny seems more interested in the trivial than confronting his murky associations, proving once again he’s all about the show, not accountability.

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Donny's Antics: Courtroom Capers and Anti-Science Shenanigans

In a delightful confluence of chaos, Donny's busy suing the Wall Street Journal for some embellished birthday cheer to Epstein, while his Health Secretary, RFK Jr., is energetically reviving those nostalgic diseases we thought were eradicated. To top it off, he’s dismantling the EPA's research office like a toddler in a toy store. A triumphant demonstration of governance for the gloriously ignorant!

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Trump's Bottomless Meltdown: From Crude Cards to Censored Airwaves

Donny throws another tantrum over an alleged lewd birthday card to Epstein reveals more panic than denial, threatening the Wall Street Journal while reminding us he’ll do anything to cover his tracks. Meanwhile, it’s a scorched-earth strategy as the Trump-Republican brigade axes $9 billion in public media and foreign aid, because who needs facts or global stability when you can just defund actual journalism? So here’s to an America where only sycophants get the mic and ignorance is bliss.

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MAGA Metamorphosis: From Hats to Protests to Desperate Moves

As the MAGA cult grapples with a full-blown identity crisis, King Don's recent rants, insults, and stunt of unsealing grand jury materials have sparked a bizarre burning of sacred red hats online. Meanwhile, the streets erupted in protests that would make John Lewis proud, challenging the Don’s authoritarian grip. In a desperate attempt to regain control, Donny’s trying to distract from his own mess with a selective PR stunt, proving yet again he's all about optics and nothing about integrity.

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Donny's Dreadful Show: Hoaxes, High-Stakes Dinners, and Rail Sabotage

In a particularly egregious episode of ‘Gaslight Theater’, King Don dismisses the Epstein investigation as a ‘boring hoax,’ throwing tantrums at his own supporters for daring to ask for accountability. Meanwhile, he smooths over serious human rights violations with lavish dinners for Gulf despots, all while slashing $4 billion from California's high-speed rail project because, apparently, innovation is just too blue-state for his taste.

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The Epstein Vault: Transparency? Not on Donny's Watch!

House Republicans, under mad King Donny’s shadow, have blocked the release of Jeffrey Epstein's files - because who needs accountability when you've got loyalty? While the MAGA friends holler for transparency, their master creates a useless distraction involving Coca-Cola switching sugars. Bravo, Donny!

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The Supreme Court Chronicles: Democracy's Final Curtain Call

In a comical twist of judicial loyalty, the Supreme Court has handed Donny yet another victory, clearing the way to dismantle the Department of Education. With 1,400 layoffs and a full-scale assault on public education underway, it’s clear we’re watching the death throes of democracy - one rubber-stamped tyrannical edict at a time. Meanwhile, amidst MAGA's meltdown over missing 'client lists' and Kristi Noem's FEMA fiasco, we see just how truly absurd and incompetent this administration has become.

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Donny Gets Boo'd and Threatens Rosie O'Donnell

In a spectacle only The Don could orchestrate, he turned Chelsea's trophy lift into his personal cringe fest, refusing to leave the stage despite the booing crowd. Meanwhile, in a rare moment of petty absurdity, he threatened to revoke Rosie O'Donnell's citizenship because she dared to roast the king. Forget law and order; we're in a Game of Thrones episode where dissenters are exiled for nothing but jokes. Bravo, Donny, truly embodying the spirit of a comically tyrannical monarch!

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Donny's Dissonant Delusions: Epstein, Friends, and Unhinged Rants

Donny's latest ramble on Truth Social dives deep into paranoia, accusing his own MAGA minions of disloyalty over the Epstein scandal that appears to have vanished like his integrity. In what can only be described as a fever dream, he claims the whole mess was orchestrated by Obama and his 'radical left lunatics'. Meanwhile, the press yawns, treating his baseless conspiracy like an everyday occurrence while MAGA fans still bide their time for that elusive list.

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Donny's Desperate Propaganda and Flooded Ego

The White House has morphed into Donny's personal meme factory, featuring him as Superman, much to the online world's relentless mockery. Meanwhile, in a classic Don maneuver, he swaggered through Texas post-flood devastation, delivering his well-rehearsed astonishments while simultaneously undermining the very emergency agency meant to help. It’s the ultimate tragicomedy: a disaster tour starring the least competent hero imaginable - King Don, saving himself over saving face.

A Bizarre Circus of Tariffs, Raids, and Incompetence

In a delightful three-ring spectacle, President Donny Dipshit is shaking down allies with tariffs while flexing his authoritarian muscles on legal weed farms, deploying militarized forces like some twisted game of cops and robbers. Meanwhile, FEMA’s Ice Barbie holds disaster relief hostage, prioritizing her ego over lives as Texans drown, proving that under this regime, chaos reigns supreme and competence is a mythical creature.

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A Hilarious Parade of Governance Fails and Faux Pas: GOP Edition

In an impressively coordinated display of incompetence, Ted Cruz slashed vital NOAA funding during deadly floods, Rollins proposed a dystopian solution to labor shortages by drafting Medicaid recipients, and Donny insulted a Liberian leader about his English as if Africa were a monolith of backwardness. Adding to the comedy, Trump threatens tiny nations with tariffs like a schoolyard bully and RFK Jr. throws his 'principles' out the window by endorsing sodium-packed meals for the needy. It’s a cacophony of chaos that proves the GOP has perfected the art of self-sabotage while masquerading as champions of the people.

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A Reckless Carnival: Authoritarianism in Full Swing

It's a bumper day. Donny’s Supreme Court gives the thumbs up for mass firings, while Pam Blondi has u-turned on the Epstein list and no says there is no list. Meanwhile, a military photo op in LA’s immigrant-rich MacArthur Park has the nation questioning if it's a police state or a bad action movie. Tariffs threaten to skyrocket, and Ice Barbie's busy polling for the best horse selfie.

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Donny's Disastrous Double Feature: Trade Blunders and Flood Flops

As Texas drowns, Donny contemplates a visit, clearly prioritizing golf over grief. Our fearless leader's level of concern? Zero, akin to his success rate in international negotiations. What a riveting performance in incompetence.

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Disaster Response: A Masterclass in Indifference and Economic Extortion

In a textbook example of incompetence, Donny and Ego Musk let Texas drown while they play with government funding like it’s Monopoly money, leaving citizens stranded and the disaster response in shambles. Likewise, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has declared war on trade with tariffs as his favorite weapon, masquerading extortion as ‘leverage,’ all while delivering a grand total of two trade deals. Get ready for soaring prices and crumbling supply chains.

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Elon’s Political Circus: Welcome to the America Party

Just when you thought Ego Musk might slink back into obscurity, he’s cannonballing into politics with his latest gimmick: ‘The America Party’—because clearly, branding a political movement after an entire country is the pinnacle of humility.

Donny's Independence Day: The Day Democracy Died

King Donny celebrated Independence Day by signing his ‘Big, Beautiful Bill,’ a capitalist Christmas for the ultra-wealthy that slashes social safety nets like they were expired coupons. This 'beauty' doesn’t just betray working Americans; it essentially declares them collateral damage in the never-ending quest for corporate profits. Donny deliberately set July 4th as his deadline to get the bill passed for maximum pain to all his detractors - we get to watch the sick clown sign away people's rights and celebrate it.

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The GOP's Grand Charade: Celebrating Corporate Greed in Iowa

Today, the GOP proudly displayed their utter lack of shame as they clapped in unison while passing Donny's grotesquely named "Big Beautiful Bill." This corporate love letter dismantles social programs like a toddler with a crayon, handing yet another bonanza to billionaires while claiming to care for the common folk. Highlighting the occasion with a pompous Des Moines rally, Donny leaned into his authoritarian and gave us another awful rendition of his "Double Dick Dance".

Donny also tried to sell Rice to the Japanese. Seriously.

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The Dystopian Triptych: Detention Camps, Legal Extortion, and Cannibal Propaganda

In yet another chapter of Donny’s authoritarian escapade, we witness the call for a nationwide network of migrant concentration camps, courtesy of his new favorite hobby: human rights violations. Meanwhile, the Fat Cat of Fortitude coerces Paramount into a $16 million settlement for editing a 60 Minutes interview — a masterclass in legal bullying that makes clear who really runs the narrative around here. And let’s not forget ICE Barbie, crafting horror stories like fiction at its finest to demonize migrants and justify this very madness. If that doesn’t send shivers down your spine, it’s time to check your pulse.

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Welcome to the Wasteland: Donny's Reign of Cruelty and Corruption

Donny toured his ghastly concentration camp dubbed "Alligator Alcatraz" that’s a playground for environmental disasters and human rights violations. With his sidekick, Rolex-wearing Ice Barbie, giggling over potential alligator snacks for desperate souls, the duo laughs in the face of civil liberties. Meanwhile, a new tax bill designed to shower riches on the ultra-wealthy sails through Congress, despite its unpopularity, revealing a GOP more committed to worshipping their demagogue than serving the people.

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Donny’s Circus: Scents, Scams, and Fiscal Follies

Donny launches 'Trump Fragrances' — a new ploy to milk his loyal MAGA minions while they pine for the ghost of greatness. Meanwhile, he throws a tantrum over Canada’s modest digital services tax, weaponizing trade negotiations to protect his billionaire pals. The grand finale? A chaotic push for the 'Big, Beautiful Bill,' where tax cuts for the rich and healthcare slashes collide in a budgetary disaster, all while Donny barks his demands that everyone fall into line on Truth Social.

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Donny's Authoritarian Circus: Threats, Tantrums, and Tax Cuts Galore

In the latest episode of 'Donny vs. Democracy,' our beloved King threatens to yank federal funds from New York City unless Mayor Mamdani kisses the ring, labeling him a 'pure communist'. Meanwhile, Donny, with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball, pushes through a disastrous tax and spending bill that promises to spiral the nation into debt while gutting social safety nets and pleasing his rich buddies. Not to mention, he’s itching to turn journalists into informants, as if we needed more proof that facts are anathema to his reality.

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Donny’s Diplomatic Circus: Ceasefires and Military Fantasies

Worst Prez. ever Donny declares a ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas conflict is just around the corner - without any evidence or plan in sight. Meanwhile, his military escapades in Iran, described as unmatched obliteration by a chorus of loyal clowns, turn out to be a mere glorified pothole repair.

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Donny's Supreme Court Circus

In yet another favor, Donny’s Supreme Court sidekicks have delivered a ruling that practically hands him a golden ticket to authoritarianism, silencing any lower courts daring enough to challenge his reign. Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom is suing Fox News for defamation.

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Donny's Descent into Delusion and Decree

In a display of collective hysteria, Donny and his MAGA cultists are throwing tantrums over Zohran Mamdani's mayoral win while labelling basic human rights as radical leftism.

Pete Hegseth, channeling his inner petulant child, refuses to answer valid questions about military fiascos and lashes out at the press, as Donny’s fantastical claims of Democratic treachery rage on unchecked.

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Royal Rumble: Donny Dances with Kings while RFK Plays the Fool

RFK's latest stunt to choke off funds for global vaccines showcases his talent for making Donny look like a paragon of logic, as he defends his bizarre quest for 'all available science' - one can only assume it includes tarot cards and unicorn tears. The circle of clowns is truly complete.

Meanwhile, Donny plans another state visit to the UK to meet the King.

Donny on the World Stage: Total Fantasy and Dropping an F-Bomb

Donny trumpets imaginary triumphs over Iran's nuclear program going against his own intelligence experts, and calls the press "scum" for daring to report it.

Meanwhile, amidst the fallout, our dear leader has dipped into the expletive jar, becoming the first President to drop the F-bomb on live TV - an achievement that should probably come with a warning label. One can only applaud as he navigates international diplomacy with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, further solidifying his reign in the pantheon of presidential absurdities.

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Donny's Diplomatic Disaster: Missiles and Misguided Deportations

Donny invites provocation by claiming peace right after authorizing an attack on Iran, only to watch his rhetoric explode as missiles rain down on U.S. bases. Donny gets cross, at the imaginary "complete and total" ceasefire that never happened.

Meanwhile, his Supreme Court pals continue to defy democracy by approving swift deportations, happily ignoring human rights in what can only be described as a third-world circus.

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We're Living in a Clown Timeline

Donny, flanked by his unqualified entourage of war-mongering misfits, proudly announced the obliteration of Iran's nuclear sites while the world collectively cringed. With the decorum of a toddler, he declared it a 'success' despite the absence of any substantiation. Meanwhile, Pete Hegseth's sycophantic applause for Dear Leader's 'leadership' showcased that we're living in a clown timeline.

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Donny Does Diplomacy: Bombs the Shit out of Iran

Donny decided to bomb Iran unilaterally, proving once again that Congressional oversight is so last season. His timing is as impeccable as always, using military strikes to dodge accountability for his epic failures at home; his public spat with Ego Musk and that disaster of a 'Big Beautiful Bill'. Hooray for democracy, right? Just another day of King Don flexing his muscles while ignoring any semblance of intelligence or rationale!

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The Circus Continues

Donny whines about not getting the Nobel Peace Prize while simultaneously continuing to baselessly lie that the 2020 election was stolen from him - now appointing a special prosecutor to investigate what 61 courts have already dismissed. Meanwhile, asshole JD Vance does what he does best and offends everyone where ever he goes.

Let’s not forget Elon Musk, trying to stay relevant, is attempting to rewrite history though his right-wing trained AI.

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Shitty 'Fake News' Polls, Donny's Legendary 2-week Unit of Time and Another TACO incident

Donny's self-delusion continues, as he claims white is black when it comes to polling. Donny gets called out on his constant '2-weeks' unit of time to evade any question and for the third time, Donny backs down on TikTok and gives them another extension.

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World Domination on a Whim: Donny's Diplomatic Doodles and Clown Cabinet Critiques

Donny teeters on the brink of global chaos, musing about pulverizing Iran as casually as one considers breakfast options. Meanwhile, Obama's back to remind us that America’s political ship is drifting into autocracy. Good of you notice. Senator Duckworth is the lone voice of reason, glaring at Donny's golden boy, Secretary Hegseth, for failing upward while she keeps score of his colossal screw-ups.

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A Birthday Bash to Remember: Donny's Dictatorial Dissatisfaction

Donny’s failed military-themed birthday bash turned into a chaotic pride parade, complete with half-assed soldiers and a fuming autocrat pointing fingers at Pete Hegseth for the fail. Meanwhile, ICE goons handcuffed a mayoral candidate for merely trying to help someone, while Donny doubled down on his delusions with a stream of threats against Iran and outright dismissal of intelligence briefings. Donny is an imbecile

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Gold, Gaffes, and Gory Mockery: Trump's Latest Circus

Donny's obsession with gold escalates into a shameless grift with the launch of 'Trump Mobile', a molten monstrosity catering to his adoring MAGA sycophants. Meanwhile, he graces the G7 with his dazzling ignorance, proposing Russia's re-entry while leaving early to brood like a child scolded by the adults.

In between, he trivializes the assassination of Democrats, turning political violence into cruel comedy, while all round asshole MyPillow CEO Lindell faces justice for spreading election lies.

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King Don's Dictatorial Delusions

King Don issues a 'TRUTH Notice', apparently believing that to now be equal to the law, demanding the immediate increase in 'mass deportations'. Meanwhile, he's busy destroying the historic rose garden in the White House by paving over it, because Donny's going to Don and just be a tasteless fucking Dolt in everything he does.

A peaceful protester during the #NoKings protests has tragically died after being shot by 'Peace Keeping' forces in Utah. Welcome to Donny's America.

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King Donny's Birthday Party ruined by Low turnout and mass Protests

Donny, the king wannabe failed to host a milatary parade to celebrate the 250th anniversay of the US army his birthday. It's widely been reported, outside of Fox News, to be a total washout. Even Donny fell to sleep.

What did happen though, was over 2,000 separate protests as part of the #nokings day, to peacefully protest Donny's reign and ransacking of democracy.

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Chaos in the Land of the Free: RFK's Quackery, Donny's Troops, and the Threat of Arrest

Witch Doctor RFK Jr. expels qualified health officials in favor of his own band of conspiracy theorists, ushering in a new age of anti-science madness. Meanwhile, Deranged Donny flexes his authoritarian muscle by deploying troops to LA without state consent, all while toyingly suggesting the arrest of Governor Newsom for, well, doing his job and being a Democrat.

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Fascist Fantasies and Billionaire Breakups

In a fit of impotent and incompetent rage, Donny Dotard authorized the deployment of the National Guard to quash peaceful LA protests, proving yet again that military might trumps dialogue in his clownish arsenal.

Meanwhile, Donny's spat with Ego Musk seems to be permanent, and through it all, JD Vance pops up to downplay the whole Elon insinuating that Donald Trump is a child rapist as just being 'emotional'.

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Donny's Dictatorship Du Jour: Ego Trips and Legal Shenanigans

Donny the Disastrous has declared that the US can only survive with him at the helm, tossing aside even his former best buddy Musk after their recent spat. Meanwhile, his administration's incompetence shines bright as they grapple with the fallout from the wrongful deportation of an innocent man; one they illegally sent to a Salvadoran hellhole despite a court order. And just when you think it couldn't get worse, the Supreme Court, packed with Donny's puppets, approves the government's right to invasively peek into everyone’s private data.

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The Big Beautiful Bust-up: Donny and Elon butt heads. The world laughs

Donny and Ego Musk have flung their toys out of the pram over Musk's tepid critiques of Trump's latest disaster, the 'Big Beautiful Bill'. As their beloved followers watch in horror, the pair wrestle over economic spoils, with Musk's stock crashing faster than his credibility. Meanwhile, the real tragedy surfaces as they wield economic power like a weapon, showcasing just how deeply authoritarian their little feud has delved into the ideological abyss.

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Donny's Dystopia: Travel Bans, Vendettas, and ICE's New Cruelty

Donny’s latest whimsical travel ban echoes his first reign’s nonsense, targeting twelve countries because, well, they’re not ‘us’. Amid the absurdity, he’s ordered a probing mission into Biden’s alleged cognitive decline and a new decree against Harvard showcases Donny’s flair for international isolation, all while Miller’s ICE henchmen are told to get ‘creative’ with deportations.

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Chaos Reigns: Musk Throws Shade, Fox Poops on Pride, and Donny's Deal Dilemma

Elon Musk, ever the drama queen, has publicly called Donny's tax fiasco a 'disgusting abomination'. Meanwhile, Fox News, in a classic display of cringeworthy loyalty, insists The Don is the world's 'bravest man' after his 'TACO' nickname blew up in his face.

On the global stage, Canada is gleefully building its economy apart from Donny's ridiculous tariffs, leaving him to wallow in his own failed hllow threats, and an absence of 'deals', totalling zero, shows Donny couldn't make a deal with a used car salesman.

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The Clown Show Chronicles: Conspiracies, Drilling, and Kidnappings

In a classic episode of Donny’s chaotic reality, RFK has somehow dragged the chemtrails conspiracy into state legislatures, while Dimwit Doug boldly rolls back drilling bans in Alaska with all the subtlety of a jackhammer. Let’s not forget the latest stunt of kidnapping a congressional aide over vague charges, proving that checks and balances are as outdated as dial-up internet. Meanwhile, the administration exploits tragedies to villainize immigrants, proving that hypocrisy is the true American pastime. Welcome to the wonderful world of authoritarian playbook 101!

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The Don's Comedy Club: Conspiracies, Cutbacks, and More Empty Promises

Delusional Donny has promoted a wacky conspiracy theory claiming Biden's been replaced by a robot—perfect fodder for a late-night talk show. Meanwhile, he's opted to defund FEMA, leaving disaster-struck states to fend for themselves, because why should we care about their recovery? Amidst this chaos, he still can’t figure out how to end the war in Ukraine, proving once again that his promises are as hollow as his conspiracy theories.

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Everyone is a "Radical Left Lunatic"

The Trump Circus: Musk's Retreat and Kennedy's Quackery

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Taco Trump and His Disturbing Love Affair with Authoritarianism

Donny’s earned himself a new nickname: “Taco Trump.” Coined by a Financial Times journalist, TACO stands for “Trump Always Chickens Out”—a nod to his habit of backing down after all the loud bluster. Don being the thin skinned bastard he is threw his toys out the pram because the nasty reporter said something he doesn't like.

Meanwhile, with more good news, a federal court smacked down his shitty tariff plans, reminding him that he's not the king he thinks he is—yet, the damage to democracy continues to loom large.

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Trump's Authoritarian Circus: Contracts, Pardons, and Judicial Hijinks

In a whirlwind of token gestures and constitutional gymnastics, Trump escalates warfare against Harvard with a contract severance while prepping his pardon parade for reality stars with criminal records. All the while, the House stumbles over itself to pass legislation that shushes the judiciary—because who needs checks and balances when you have a reality star mentality? The administration's latest student visa debacle seals the deal, isolating the U.S. like an unpopular kid at the global lunch table. Bravo, team authoritarian!

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The Don's Circus: Memorial Day Shittery and yet more Tariff Tantrums

In a Memorial Day speech that should have honored fallen heroes, Donny opted for a petty partisan tirade, tossing around insults like confetti while simultaneously declaring progress on immigration. Then he whimsically delayed his latest economic-destructive tariffs threat on the EU, charming us all with his unpredictability. To cap it off, he dusted off his phone to call Putin 'absolutely crazy', finally recognizing the obvious, only to be met with a diss from the Kremlin.

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Donny's Petty Playground: Portraits, Misunderstandings, and Tax Cuts

In a spectacularly juvenile display of spite, King Don orchestrated the removal of Obama's portrait from the USDA—nothing says 'I'm in charge' like scrubbing your predecessor from the walls. Meanwhile, Ice Barbie Kristi Noem tried to redefine habeas corpus, proving ignorance is bliss in Donny's cabinet. To top it off, The Don’s latest half-baked tax plan is more about sweet deals for the wealthy than any real reform, all while he attempts to make us believe he's the reigning monarch of the GOP. Welcome to the era of 'your democracy doesn't matter'.

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Trump's Grand Charade: Tanks, Tantrums, and Tactics

In a theatrical saga that rivals a reality show, Trump looks to boost his image with a militaristic birthday bash for the Army, showcasing Abrams tanks like a kid flaunting a new toy. Simultaneously, he pressures Walmart into swallowing tariff costs, while dismissing the head of the US Copyright Office as a gift to big tech. Meanwhile, an invitation from the UK has Canada rolling its eyes, and a half-hearted peace meeting suggestion shows he’s still more spectacle than diplomacy. If authoritarianism had a poster child, it’d be this circus.

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Markets Tank, Canada Isn't for Sale, and Nepotism Scores Again

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Trump's May 4th Blitz: Tariffs, Prisons, and Economic Denial

Donny's Military Birthday Parade, Donny for the Papacy and Me, me, me

Donny's Delusions: Blame, Bullying, and the Birth of a Theocratic State

In Donny's never-ending circus, economic blame gets flung like confetti, with Biden as the hapless target while Donny sidesteps accountability like a pro. National security gets a shake-up too, as loyalty reigns supreme over competence. With his minions dubbing him a savior and touting patriotic indoctrination, it’s less 'Make America Great' and more 'Make America Weird Again'. Meanwhile, the separation of church and state fades faster than Donny's sanity in a crisis. Truly, it’s a masterclass in authoritarianism disguised as reality TV.

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Trump's Earth Day Encore: Deregulation, Diplomatic Discord, and Economic Turmoil

Trump's Earth Day: Deregulation, Retaliation, and Recession Warnings

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DJ Vance kills the Pope, kind of

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Donny calls it "Liberation Day' by tanking the world's economy

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King Don's Chaotic Reign: Humanitarian Disasters and Military Theater

In a whirlwind of questionable decisions, President Trump has outdone himself by greenlighting immigration raids in hospitals and churches, effectively weaponizing compassion against the vulnerable. Meanwhile, he attempts to 'fix' Yemen by slapping the Houthi rebels with a terrorist label, because nothing screams foreign policy like performative gestures. Not to mention, nixing vaccine mandates for green card applicants—clearly choosing political posturing over public health, which could topple safety for millions. And as if that wasn't enough, he’s sending 1,500 troops to the border, militarizing immigration. This isn't parody, it's how Donny's circus operates.

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Donny's Authoritarian Rampage: Bulldozing Rights and Wokeness Be Gone

In a one-two punch of authoritarian zeal, King Don has dismantled foundational civil rights protections with Executive Order 14173, making discrimination chic again. Not stopping there, he wielded his corporate axe to abolish Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion offices, effectively signing a political purge under the guise of policy. Meanwhile, his posturing on the Ukraine war highlights a clear disconnect between lofty promises and trivial threats, showcasing the real pandemic: Donny’s delusions of diplomacy. Welcome to the age of regression!

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The Authoritarian Chronicles: Donny's Dystopian Delusions

In a whirlwind of executive mischief, King Don rebranded sedition as patriotism by pardoning January 6 rioters, gleefully shredded birthright citizenship, and declared national emergencies as if he were playing Monopoly. His sledgehammering of democratic principles didn’t stop there; he stymied federal hiring, rewrote geographic history, and even took aim at federal agencies battling misinformation. As each bombastic move unfolds, the integrity of democracy gasps for air under the weight of The Don's authoritarian blueprint. A sign of things to come...

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