Day 149: A Birthday Bash to Remember: Donny's Dictatorial Dissatisfaction

Donny Secretly Pissed at his Half-Assed Military Birthday Party

It must hurt Donny, that on his special birthday parade, millions of people took to the streets for #NoKings to tell him "Fuck You". It must hurt even more when his own birthday party was a complete shit show.

So after Donny had a lavish, military themed birthday party, akin to what you might expect in dictatorships like North Korea, he is reportedly secretly upset at how shit it actually was. Donny can't even get this right.

Here's how North Korea do it:

and...

Here's Donny's version:

Wolff appeared on The Daily Beast Podcast, saying that Donny really wanted a “menacing” show of force in honor of the Army’s 250th himself, on June 14. Instead, Donny got a “festive” pride parade.

Many people have commented how the soldiers weren’t marching in lockstep during the parade as they made their way through, and none of them appeared to take it very seriously.

Donny is apparently fuming at alleged rapist Pete Hegseth, who he is blaming for the failure.

In response to the report, The White House called Wolff a “lying sack of shit” and a “proven … fraud.” In the professional way it now conducts itself.

Even North Korea have now left a review about how pathetic the whole effort was:

North Korean News Report on Trump's Military Parade
byu/Isolf_Stalin inMovingToNorthKorea

Donny's ICE Goons Arrest New York City Comptroller Brad Lander

Donny's version of the SS, theICE goons, continue to overreach and this time detained New York City Comptroller and mayoral candidate Brad Lander outside an immigration court.

Lander, who was attempting to escort a defendant from the court, was handcuffed by masked agents. The Department of Homeland Security then charged him with assaulting law enforcement and impeding a federal officer.

Our great press report this as "appears to be politically motivated".

What? It definitely is politically motivated. Call it what it fucking is.

Here's the video of the arrest, you decide what you think:

Donny Does Diplomacy: Threatens WWIII over Truth Social

Sometimes, you can't really satirize Donny any better than his own TruthSocial account. While the world waits to see what the fuck he might do next, Donny unleashes his stream of toxic consciousness onto his shitty app.

First, Donny decried the 'Fake News' that he'd reached out to Iran for peace talks, god forbit.

Next, Donny talked of his domination over the skies, in this highly technical and articulate 'Truth'

Good one Donny. Who the fuck is that even aimed at? He continues, now time to turn the dial to 11, and threaten to kill the leader of Iran.

How many other US presidents have made direct threats like this to world leaders... let's see, oh that's right: zero. Why is that? Because escalation like this is fucking dangerous.

Next up, practicing his kingly authority, Donny was demanding complete and total surrender:

Right. So Donny has just basically brought us even closer to WWIII. How do you follow that up? Anyway to deescalte the tensions, you know, the way the rest of the world is doing?

Well Donny chose to lighten the mood with a post about flag poles he's generously donated to the White House:

Finally, before retiring for the night, Donny hallucinated a world where he has good Poll numbers:

Where the fuck are your sources for that Donny? Is this the kind of fabrication you'll listen to if one of your clowns just tells you that's true? I mean, the reality is that your poll numbers are in the shitter, and they're only getting lower:

Highest Disapproval Ratings for Donny Trump Poll Numbers Underwater

Let me guess, Donny, Fake News? According to Donny. If the news is positive about him and his actions - it's a legitimate news item. Anything considered negative? 'Fake News'! got it.

Someone needs to slap Donny and take away his phone.

Donny Knows Best: "Doesn't Care" What his Intelligence Advisors Tell Him.

Donny's not a smart man. It's well known that he has the attention span of a an ADHD ferret. His staff have to be inventive just to get him to spare a few minutes on intelligence briefings. Donny basically likes to just act in the moment, on a whim, depending on how he feels. HIs instincts have some how allowed him to fall up to the highest office in the land - twice. So he doesn't think he needs to listen to anyone else.

Tulsi Gabbard, alleged Russian asset, and Director of National Intelligence's assessment based on the intelligence they've gathered is that Iran has not been building a nuclear weapon

Showing his Director of National Intelligence all the respect she deserves, Donny said:

I mean whatever the reality, what you can be sure of is, is Donny doesn't have an actual clue. It's based on nothing other than a 'feeling'. Which could just be a bowel movement.

Traditionally, a President has listened closely to his advisers and intelligence officers as it's important to have a key team around you to keep you informed. Donny doesn't believe he needs any of that. What he thinks is right because he said so.

Say it again.... Donny is an imbecile.