Donny's Dystopia - The Mad King
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Day 1: The Authoritarian Chronicles: Donny's Dystopian Delusions

Monday, January 20, 2025

actions on Monday

Trump Pardons Roughly 1,500 January 6 Defendants, Including Violent Offenders

Wasting no time rebranding sedition as patriotism, President Trump pardoned approximately 1,500 January 6 rioters—many convicted of violent offenses. This mass absolution wasn’t just a political stunt; it was a loyalty reward for those who battered democracy on his behalf.


Trump Signs Executive Order to Revoke Birthright Citizenship for Undocumented Families

Trump kicked off his second term by taking a sledgehammer to the 14th Amendment, signing an executive order to revoke birthright citizenship from children of undocumented immigrants. Legal scholars called it unconstitutional; Trump called it Tuesday.


Trump Declares National Emergency at the Southern Border

Citing a 'crisis' he all but conjured into existence, Trump declared a national emergency at the southern border to justify a troop surge. Immigration experts called it fearmongering; MAGA-world called it Monday motivation.


Trump Withdraws U.S. from Paris Climate Agreement and Declares Fossil Fuel Emergency

Trump launched his energy agenda with Executive Order 14162—revoking the U.S. from the Paris Climate Agreement, lifting EV mandates, and declaring a 'national fossil fuel emergency.' Environmentalists screamed; oil barons applauded. The planet sighed—audibly.


Trump Issues Executive Order 14148 Rescinding 78 Biden-Era Policies

Trump’s Executive Order 14148 took a flamethrower to Biden’s legacy, repealing 78 executive actions. Think DEI, climate action, labor protections—burned to ash with the flourish of a Sharpie.


Trump Signs Executive Order 14149 to End Federal 'Censorship'

With EO 14149, Trump redefined 'free speech' as freedom to amplify misinformation. Federal agencies were banned from fighting disinformation—because nothing says liberty like unregulated viral conspiracy theories.


Trump Issues Executive Order 14169 Pausing Foreign Aid Programs

Trump slapped a 90-day pause on U.S. foreign aid with EO 14169. Humanitarian relief, education, and infrastructure projects were shelved—except military aid, of course. America First, everyone else on hold.


Trump Signs Executive Order 14172 Renaming Geographic Landmarks

Trump went full revisionist with EO 14172, renaming Alaska’s Denali back to Mount McKinley and rechristening the Gulf of Mexico as the 'Gulf of America.' Geography teachers wept. The maps are now political propaganda.


Trump Issues Federal Hiring Freeze Memorandum

In a bid to prove he could still kill morale with a memo, Trump froze all federal hiring. Agencies were told to cut staff, slash ambition, and, if possible, do less with nothing. Bureaucracy as bloodsport.


Initiated withdrawal from the World Health Organization (WHO)

President Trump signed an executive order to begin the process of withdrawing the U.S. from the WHO, citing dissatisfaction with the organization's handling of the COVID-19 pandemic and its alleged bias towards China.