Windsor Rolls Out the Red Carpet
Hats off to the UK — they really know how to welcome a weasel masquerading as a president.
Just hours before Donald Trump’s unprecedented second state visit, Windsor Castle was lit up not with royal pomp, but with a towering image of Trump and his old chum Jeffrey Epstein. Protesters also unfurled a massive banner of the pair outside the castle — a royal welcome more honest than anything Buckingham Palace could muster.
Police, ever loyal to the art of protecting fragile egos, moved quickly to arrest four activists under the catch-all charge of “malicious communications”. Because nothing screams national security threat quite like a projected photograph of Donny’s sordid past.
And it didn’t stop there. Videos from protest group Everyone Hates Elon show Windsor gift shops suddenly stocking satirical souvenirs: mugs and commemorative plates bearing Trump’s face right alongside Epstein’s. Forget your tea towel with the King’s corgis — this is the real collector’s item.
[IMG code= 19dmGpeCrrtO caption="Get yours now"]
The irony, of course, is exquisite. The protest comes just as a letter allegedly penned by Trump to Epstein decades ago has re-emerged, making the projected images and souvenir shelves sting all the more. The administration will dismiss it as “fringe agitators,” but the message could not be clearer: the public hasn’t forgotten who Donny chose as company.
Trump may arrive at Windsor expecting deference and grandeur, but the shadow he drags with him stretches further than any royal procession. The protesters ensured his visit will be remembered not for pageantry, but for the Epstein-shaped cloud hanging directly over the Mad King’s head.
Just like when Donny invaded Scotland, England are telling Donny where to go.
Donny Does Britain (Again)
Analysis of Trump's State Visit to the UK
Authoritarian RiskRationale
The protests against Trump’s visit reflect public dissent against his divisive politics, while criticisms from figures like Sadiq Khan, who likens Trump's military deployments to authoritarian tactics, signify a growing concern over his leadership style undermining democratic norms.
Donny and ever loving wife Melania tumbled out of Air Force One at London Stansted, ready for his unprecedented second state visit, because apparently once wasn’t enough humiliation for the UK. The greeting committee? Henry Hood, a lord-in-waiting tasked with the unenviable job of welcoming a man who makes even the Daily Mail’s royal scandals look dignified.
On the agenda: military parades, banquets, and even a potential Red Arrows flypast with British and American F-35s. Because nothing says “peaceful diplomacy” quite like a taxpayer-funded airshow for a guy who renames the Pentagon the Department of War.
But Donny’s coronation cosplay won’t be without protest. Thousands are expected to take to the streets to mark the occasion. Donny's starting to get protests almost as often as JD Vance.
The visit has already sparked skepticism across Britain. Why honor a man best known for stoking division, praising dictators, and tweeting in all caps at 3 a.m.? The UK government now faces the delicate task of balancing diplomacy with public disgust — or, put more bluntly, trying to host a state visit without looking like Donny's butler.
In the end, the whole spectacle will be remembered less for the parades and more for the protests. Britain may be stuck playing nice with Donny on the tarmac, but in the streets, the people will be louder — and funnier — than any flypast.