Day 158: Donny's Descent into Delusion and Decree

MAGAverse Reverts to Form as Zohran Mamdani wins in New York City

Donny and the MAGA echo chamber are, shocker, losing their collective minds over Zohran Mamdani’s surprise win in New York City’s Democratic mayoral primary.

Mamdani ran, and won, on a platform packed with all the terrifying stuff MAGA despises: affordable housing, tackling the cost of living, raising the minimum wage, defending LGBTQ+ rights, and refusing to collaborate with ICE’s deportation thugs. You know, radical concepts like equality and human dignity.

Naturally, this sent the MAGA horde into a frenzy.

Donny Jr., never one to miss a chance to be the most racist asshole in the room, came out swinging with this gem:

And Donny Sr., stuck on repeat as ever, deployed his go-to strategy: label anyone to the left of Attila the Hun a "radical left communist."

Because when you’ve got nothing but grievance politics and zero policy ideas, yelling "COMMUNISM!" into the void is all that’s left.

Pete Hegseth Gives Another Press Briefing About all the Obliteration

Chief Clown of ‘War!’ Pete Hegseth took to the stage for another big-boy conference, dutifully parroting the script: Donny masterminded and executed the most successful military operation in the history of the world.

There are so many things wrong with that sentence it’s hard to know where to start.

First off, Donny can’t even plan his own birthday party. He’s a bitter, petty, feeble-minded old man whose sole contribution was to throw a tantrum the moment reports surfaced that the strike had been a monumental flop.

And when even a Fox News reporter had the audacity to question Pete McDrunkFuck about the intel, namely, that Iran’s nuclear program was only set back a few months and that they’d moved the uranium days in advance, Pete lashed out like a petulant child

Did Pete answer the completely legitimate question? Of course he fucking didn’t.

Because this is the parody timeline: a reality show presidency headed by a demented clown, staffed with equally incompetent loyalist clowns who, as Donny might say, “don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.”

Because when facts don’t flatter the narrative, the playbook is always the same: scream “Fake News!” and hurl insults until the cameras cut away.

Donnyland: Democrats are to Blame

Donny’s back with another delusion:

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Yes, you read that right - he’s now claiming that Democrats leaked details of the U.S. airstrikes on Iranian nuclear sites.

Sure, Donny. I'm guessing Biden personally passed the intel along, right? You know, the Biden; the evil genius mastermind of the Great 2020 Election Heist - who somehow juggles stealing democracy, operating a global deep state, and outwitting you… all while allegedly being a senile robot clone who thinks it’s 1956 and calls every day “Tuesday.”

But of course, in Donnyland, these imaginary criminal Democrats must be prosecuted. For crimes that exist solely in his head.

And of course, Donny wants these imaginary evil democrats prosecuted for their imaginary crimes.

At least during Donny v1, there were a few handlers around who could yank the mic away before things went full QAnon. But now? He’s surrounded by sycophantic yes-men who not only nod along - they actually indulge this crap.

Fantasy has become policy. Delusion is the platform.

Donny Starting a new War with Another University

Because bombing Iran and screaming at reporters wasn’t quite enough fascist cosplay for one month, Donny's administration has now decided to launch a federal probe into the University of California system.

Their crime? Not being MAGA enough and being based in California.

According to Donny’s Department of Education, currently staffed with people whose understanding of academia begins and ends with “Trump University” - the UC system might be discriminating against students who don’t buy into, and I quote, “radical left ideology.”

Translation: they don’t throw MAGA rallies in lecture halls or assign Don Jr.'s latest book of word salad as required reading.

The investigation is part of a broader witch hunt against universities that allegedly foster “anti-American bias,” which in MAGA-speak means teaching history correctly, acknowledging systemic inequality, and not treating every conservative snowflake as the Messiah.

The UC system’s actual statement? They say they “embrace diversity of thought” and “academic freedom.”

And that’s exactly the problem for the MAGA cult, because in their minds, "freedom" means burning books they don’t like, banning words that make them uncomfortable, and turning college campuses into glorified Turning Point USA meetups.

Let’s be real: this isn’t about discrimination. It’s about revenge. Donny didn’t get the love he wanted from elite institutions, so now he's on a petty crusade to punish them for being smarter than him. The man thinks climate change is a hoax, but believes Antifa runs the libraries.

This investigation isn’t just a joke; it’s a warning shot. MAGA’s war isn’t just against immigrants, science, or democracy. It’s against knowledge itself.

Because nothing terrifies these clowns more than a generation that learns to think critically and realizes what a total fraud Donny really is.