Day 235: Donny’s Circus: From Faux Transparency to Fuzzy Health Concerns

The Epstein Files? Blocked Again by the GOP. Convenient, Isn’t It?

It’s been wall-to-wall coverage of the assassination of fascist hype man Charlie Kirk — the perfect shiny object for Donny’s crew to hide behind while they quietly do what they do best: cover their own asses.

Case in point: Senate Republicans just blocked Chuck Schumer’s push to release the Epstein files. Schumer framed it as transparency. The GOP framed it as “national security.” Translation: rich guys might look bad, and Donny’s name might show up in bold italics on every fucking page. Can’t have that, now can we?

The whole thing is almost artful in its cynicism. One chamber full of “constitutional conservatives” protecting the nation… from accountability. Skeletons stay in closets. Black books stay sealed. Democracy gets the boot so billionaires and politicians can keep pretending Epstein was just a “weird socialite” who happened to collect powerful friends like baseball cards.

And of course, The Don is beaming. His loyal Senate minions just proved — again — that when the chips are down, they’ll shred the public’s right to know faster than he shreds subpoenas.

So yes, America, this is what “checks and balances” looks like in 2025: a Mad King calling the shots while his courtiers invent excuses for why the truth is simply too dangerous for you to see.

Don't let up. Release the Epstein Files.

Donny Looks like he's had a Stroke at 9/11 Memorial Event

The Don turned up at a 9/11 memorial with Melania in tow, and even managed to stay awake.

Though today's main distraction was the look he had that appeared as though he'd had a stroke.

The White House, of course, has offered nothing. No statement, no clarification, not even a half-hearted “he’s the picture of health” press release. Just silence, which, naturally, only fuels the rumors. It’s the same playbook we saw with the bruise on his hand (blamed on “vigorous handshaking,” as if he’s auditioning for Most Fragile Man Alive) and the photo of him popping a mystery pill at the U.S. Open.

Dr. Sean Barbabella, his physician-slash-spokesman, tried to wave it away as “soft tissue irritation” and routine aspirin use for cardiovascular prevention. Cute. But aspirin doesn’t explain a sagging face on live television. Nor does it reassure anyone that the man with the nuclear codes might be one cheeseburger away from keeling over.

The refusal to even acknowledge the obvious — that Donny’s health is wobbling — isn’t just dishonest, it’s dangerous. Presidents don’t get to have private medical mysteries. National security depends on the public knowing whether the Commander-in-Chief can command or if he’s about to be replaced by his defibrillator.

But transparency has never been Donny’s strong suit. Why level with the American people when you can just grin through the droop, pretend nothing’s wrong, and let your supporters call anyone who notices “fake news”?

At this point, the only thing more lopsided than Donny’s face is his administration’s credibility.

Donny Booed New York Yankees Game

Fresh off what looked suspiciously like a mini-stroke at the 9/11 memorial, Donny decided the best cure for a wobbly face was a night out at Yankee Stadium. Because nothing screams “I’m totally fine” like waddling into the Bronx expecting a standing ovation.

Instead, he got a chorus of boos so loud it could’ve registered on the Richter scale. Sure, a smattering of MAGA diehards tried to salvage it with chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” — but the stadium vibe was less patriotic rally, more Bronx-style heckle. Turns out baseball fans don’t love authoritarian cosplay between innings.

The whole thing was peak Donny: using a national tragedy as a backdrop to stage-manage his own comeback tour. But the public wasn’t buying it. You can’t spin away the sound of tens of thousands of New Yorkers reminding you they hate your guts.

Of course, Fox will clip the five people clapping and call it “rapturous applause.” Meanwhile, the rest of America saw exactly what it was: the Mad King trying to bask in borrowed reverence, only to get booed back to reality.

At this point, the only thing more predictable than Donny’s health scares is the public’s disgust every time he tries to turn solemnity into a photo op. He thought he was walking into a hero’s welcome. Instead, Yankee Stadium handed him a reminder: you can’t script real life, no matter how many sycophants you bring to the suite.

Donny’s Free Speech Test: Agree or Deport

The Don’s State Department just announced that foreigners in the U.S. can be punished for “praising, rationalizing, or making light of” Charlie Kirk’s death. Yes, you read that right - mock Charlie Kirk, get a one-way ticket out of the country.

Deputy Secretary of State Christopher Landau delivered the edict like a stern headmaster scolding a room of naughty children:

This would almost sound noble if it weren’t being used as a cudgel to crush dissent, particularly on college campuses where students have dared to criticize Israel’s bombardment of Gaza.

The policy is laughably transparent: weaponize a tragedy to muzzle protest, intimidate critics, and shrink the definition of “acceptable speech” down to whatever Donny thinks won’t hurt his fragile feelings that day. It’s less about Charlie Kirk than it is about testing how far this administration can stretch the First Amendment before it snaps. Bonus: This is all a nice distraction to rally his base and bury the Epstein Files scandal.

Imagine arriving in the so-called Land of the Free, only to find the speech code enforced by ICE. The Don’s America has no problem with you waving a Confederate flag, but if you hold up a sign that reads “Stop the Bombing,” suddenly you’re a “threat to national security.”

The chilling message is simple: Free speech is a privilege, not a right — and it expires the second you step out of line. Congratulations, Donny, you’ve managed to turn the State Department into the Ministry of Truth.

Howard Lutnick's Economic Optimism

Howard Lutnick, Commerce Secretary and full-time court jester for Donny, is at it again, turning economic dumpster fires into bedtime stories about “full fire” prosperity. Never mind that consumer prices just jumped 2.9% and unemployment claims hit a four-year high of 263,000. To Howard, this is all just the prelude to the greatest construction boom in history.

Yes, you heard right: the man looked at rising inflation and jobless lines and decided it spelled “record-breaking quarter for construction jobs” in 2026, with GDP magically soaring above 4% and the economy “humming” at “full fire” by 2027. Someone get this guy a fantasy league — he’s wasted on Commerce.

This isn’t new, of course. Back in March, Fucknut swore the economy would be “humming” by the end of 2025. By July, he declared the “Trump Economy” had already arrived, based on a one-off 3% GDP report. If he keeps this up, by Christmas he’ll be promising every American a pony and a beachfront condo.

And when critics raise little inconveniences like labor shortages caused by Donny’s immigration crackdowns? Fucknut waves it away with the kind of confidence only a billionaire sycophant can muster: “Vocational schools will fix it.” Right, because a night class in drywalling totally replaces a deported workforce.

The truth is obvious: Lord Fucknut's job isn’t to report reality, it’s to polish it into a fairy tale fit for Dear Leader. Rising costs, soaring unemployment, stagnant wages — none of it matters, as long as Donny’s reflection in the funhouse mirror still looks like “the best economy ever.”