Donny's Diary

Dear Diary, April 2, 2025—what a day! I declared it 'Liberation Day'! The BEST day. Signed Executive Order 14257, imposing a MASSIVE 10% tariff on imports—everyone's talking about it! But only the losers (and the Democrats) think it’s bad!

We had to do something about trade deficits, folks... Read More

Dear Diary, what a DAY for America! On April 1, 2025, I made a HUGE announcement—UNIVERSAL 10% tariffs on imports! That’s right, folks! I’m bringing back America’s glory, and if you don’t like it, tough! China, get ready for a WHOPPING 145% tariff! That’s going to teach them!

The markets?... Read More

Dear Diary,

What a whirlwind of a day! I told myself, 'What’s our next act of cruelty?'—and boy, did we deliver! The first thing I did? Roll back the 2011 directive that protected immigrants in schools and hospitals. Who needs such minor things, right? Let’s give our brave immigration agen... Read More

Dear Diary, let’s talk about the HUGE wins I’m racking up—only the BEST! Today, I rolled out Executive Order 14173. Everyone’s talking about it, and it’s gonna SCRAP all those anti-discrimination rules. You know, the ones that are just excuses for losers! Now it’s all about MERIT, folks! Merit. S... Read More

Dear Diary, what a day! I, your favorite president, kicked off my legendary second term with some real winners. First, I pardoned 1,500 January 6 patriots—real Americans, folks! You call it sedition, I call it loyalty! The Democrats are crying hard, but it's no biggie—just another day for me.