Donny's Dystopia - The Mad King
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Pete Hegseth

Image Credit: The Internet

Bio

Name:
Pete Hegseth
DOB:
25/09/2025 (0)
Position:
Secretary of Defence
Proudest Moment:
Sharing national security secrets and war plans with a journalist and family and friends.
Estimated IQ:
60
Net Worth:
US$6,000,000.00

Pete Hegseth

Secretary of Defence

Pete is a moron. An imbecile, a halfwit, and a deeply unpleasant one. Of all the clown appointments made by the mad king, Pete is second only to RFK to be the least qualified for their position. Which in itself is quite an achievement given the competition.

Pete is a Fox News host originally. A poisoned mind, spreading vitriol to a willing audience. As a Fox News host, he was never encumbered by truth or journalistic integrity and he's been sure to bring those traits to the highest office in the land.

Pete's been embroiled in so much scandal that he was a controversial pick even among Trump's sewer rats. Here's a flavour of all things Pete to give you an idea of the man's character:

  • Pete divorced his first wife after admitting to five affairs
  • In November 2024, it was reported Pete had allegedly raped a woman
  • Pete has a number of tattoos including a tattoo of the Jerusalem cross on his right breast; the combination of Deus Vult and the cross has been associated with the Christian right

And look no further than an endorsement from Pete's own mother in an email from 2018:

You are an abuser of women — that is the ugly truth and I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around, and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man (and have been for years).

Pete's Mum, 2018

More recently of course, Pete has been demonstrating his incompetence and unsuitability for the position of Secretary of Defence by sharing national security secrets on a public messaging app, including a journalist. Ordinarily a failing at this level would result in an immediate dismissal. Or someone with an ounce of credibility would resign. Not Pete though, and The Don continues to stand by him. Why? Because Pete shares all the same traits as Trump. An abuser of women, loyal only to Trump

As Trump's regime is busy disappearing people into the night for having tattoos associated with gangs. Pete qualifies for the same, yet has so far tragically evaded being deported to an El Salvadorian gulag.

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