Howard Lutnick Finally, a relatable billionaire interested in making your peon lives better.
Cynics among you, might be thinking that a billionaire class ruling over regular people might be a bad idea; perhaps they're out of touch with ordinary struggles, maybe they're only interested in accumulating yet more wealth, at your expense. Well, you'd be fucking right, and Howard Lutnick is a case in point.
As DODGE was getting started and was already gutting social security payments to anyone it deemed ineligible, with zero transparency or oversight, Howard was on hand to reassure us:
"Let's say Social Security didn't send out their checks this month — my mother-in-law, who's 94, she wouldn't call and complain.. A fraudster always makes the loudest noise, screaming, yelling, and complaining."
- Howard Fucknut, March 2025
That settles that then. Howard's elderly mother-in-law wouldn't complain, as you know she's got a billionaire in the family. How can it even be possible to be that out of touch to not realise that some people maybe don't have that kind of fallback.
As a man of the people, Fucknut also has a lot to say about his vision for the glorious future ahead of us all, generationally, toiling in sweatshops:
"It's time to train people not to do the jobs of the past, but to do the great jobs of the future. This is the new model where you work in these kinds of plants for the rest of your life, and your kids work here and your grandkids work here" Lord Fucknut, April 2025
Yes, that's the kind of thing those plebs will like. A nice dead end factory job.
Of course, Fuckwad is the face of Donny's mad tariff schemes. Trying to sanewash the indefensible. Howard has the job of going on TV and lying through his teeth about how great the tariffs are and how they make excellent economic sense, contrary to what all those experts think.
Fucknut first came to prominence through 9/11, when he lost all 658 of his employees in the attack, including his brother. A forlorn and grief stricken Lutnick appeared on national TV, and made very public appearances over his loss.
This terrible grief was apparently short-lived mind, as just days after the attacks, he had cut off the paycheques of those employees who at the time were missing and presumed dead.
All things considered, just another billionaire psychopath.
