Donny's Diary

Dear Diary, HUGE news today. I, the best president ever, declared a VERY STRONG warning to China. If they don't play ball, we're setting the terms ourselves. Can you believe it? Only I could do this! Some say it's a hardline stance—those are the losers, folks! When I win, everyone wins.

Me... Read More

Dear Diary,

What a day! Once again, I find myself having to educate the world on how to run a country. First, let’s talk about the economy, folks. My good friend Jerome Powell at the Fed takes a swing at me—no interest rate cuts? Sad! I guess he doesn’t realize that the Federal Reserve sho... Read More

Dear Diary,

What a truly AMAZING week! I mean, nobody does it quite like me. First, we hit the tech giants where it hurts—exempting smartphones and computers from those hefty 125% tariffs. Everybody knows, in this wonderful trade war, it's about keeping the big companies happy! Thanks to s... Read More

Dear Diary, on April 4, 2025, I made another GIGANTIC move—doubled down on my amazing 'Liberation Day' tariffs! A universal 10% tax on all imports! Can you believe it? Trillions wiped off the global market—just like that! Patrons of the 'moron premium' in the UK can learn a thing or two from this... Read More

Dear Diary, BIG news today! On April 3, 2025, I launched the most tremendous tariff—10% on ALL imports, folks! It’s a trade war like you’ve NEVER seen, especially targeting China. They’re going to feel it! Just like the UK's 'moron premium'—can you believe it? Trillions lost overnight! But I don'... Read More