A Day in the Life of Your Favorite President: Tantrums, Traditions, and Terrific Twitter
21 April 2025
Dear Diary,
What a day! Once again, I find myself having to educate the world on how to run a country. First, let’s talk about the economy, folks. My good friend Jerome Powell at the Fed takes a swing at me—no interest rate cuts? Sad! I guess he doesn’t realize that the Federal Reserve should really be my personal ATM. Markets are tanking, the S&P 500 – down over 2.3% – not my fault, just a bunch of big shots too scared to listen to the strongest, smartest president! Gold is going up because people are scrambling, can you blame them? Just saying, when I tweet about a booming economy, it should happen!
Then there was the Easter Egg Roll—what happened to that sweet little tradition? Now it’s a big corporate circus! Sponsored by Amazon, Meta, it’s a mess! Children scanning their faces like human products. And while those kids hunted for eggs, we had some major leaks from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. Major scandal, but don’t worry, I told them all it’s just 'fake news'—great job Pete, keep it up!
And yes, I’m attending the Pope’s funeral. Can you believe he criticized my border policies? But hey, I’m a big Christian guy, I’ll show up! It’s going to be huge, don’t miss it!
Speaking of HUGE, I just rolled back some affirmative action nonsense with EO 14173. Who needs it? We’re here to make America GREAT and colorblind! Critics will cry, but we’re going for excellence, folks!
Activists are crying on campuses about my immigration policies. A sit-in? Total joke! We’re winning, they can’t handle success! Remember: the Democrats are in total disarray. They can’t lead, they can't save a goldfish!
So here’s to another magnificent day of Trump-tastic governance. Stay tuned for more tweets, more brilliance, and more of me making America GREAT!
—Your Favorite President
See More Diary Entries