Donny's Dystopia - The Mad King
Day: 248 / 1461

1213 days 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds remaining

Day 139: Fascist Fantasies and Billionaire Breakups

Saturday, 7 June 2025

Donny and his Best Bud Jeff

Donny likes to Fuck Shit up and Authorizes the Deployment of the National Guard

It's all going tits up right now for Donny. It turns out not everyone actually thinks him and his ICE goons are doing great work. So peaceful protests have been taking place in LA because they're in full fucking facist mode and need to be told to fuck off.

What's a sensible way to respond to this? Hmm, that's a tough one. I mean what you would never do, and what no president before King Donny has ever done before, is mobilise the national guard to squash the shit out of those pesky protesters. Donny, the petulant fuckwit that he is had this to say on his shitty app:

As Gavin Newsom repeatedly pointed out, there was absolutely zero need or benefit to doing this. It was being handled quite well by local law enforcement, and sending in the troops was only going to "escalate tensions" and was "purposefully inflammatory".

No shit.

With Clowns as the helm this is how entirely avoidable shit goes down. Donny is both an incompetent clown and a dictator wannabe. Sec Defense Pete Hegseth is also an incompetent moron who has also threatened to send active duty marines. Let's send the lot, maybe nuke LA to send a message?

If this is all a terrible dream, as it's too fucked up for reality, wake me up now.


Donny formally ends his Bromance with Ego Musk

Donny has formally severed ties with his billionaire best bud, Ego Musk. Following the public fallout earlier in the week, when asked if his relationship with The Space Führer was over, Donny replied with:

"I would assume so, yeah," He replied "No" when asked if he wished to kiss and make up.

Donny went on to make threats of "Serious consequences" if Elon dared use his considerable wealth to sponsor Democratic candidates. Because in his demented mind that's a perfectly normal thing for a president to do.

Donny then really hit where it hurts and said he's going to sell his Tesla. Good one Donny, that'll really show him you fucking cretin.


DJ Vancey crawls out From under his Rock

Political chameleon DJ Vancey popped out from wherever he's been hiding yesterday to respond to the Big Beautiful Bustup between Donny and Ego Musk.

Behind closed doors he was probably hopeful Elon's coup and calls for impeachment might come to something, but as those hopes went nowhere, the vice president decided to hedge his bets by downplaying Musk's attacks as the actions of an "emotional guy" who got frustrated.

If by emotional you mean "high as a kite", then yeah probably.