Day 134: The Clown Show Chronicles: Conspiracies, Drilling, and Kidnappings

Crackpot RFK takes today's crown promoting 'Chemtrails' conspiracy theory

So you think it can't get any more crazy... and then one of Donny's clown crewe manages it. Today, the crown goes to RFK.

The completely baseless conspiracy theory that the US government is actually either a) controlling the weather or b) 'spraying the skies' for mind-control purposes has literally made it to state legislatures instead of being laughed away as completely without credit.

Contrails are entirely expected trails left behind by airliners. Their duration will depend on atmospheric conditions. This is well understood by anyone with a braincell.

Step in government crackpot RFK on the matter who has claimed on social media that this is to ban non-existent geo-engineering.

It's just so embarrassing to be alive in this timeline.

Drill Baby. Donny and Doug add Fuel to Global Warming.

True to his lifelong commitment to pretending climate change is just a liberal campfire story, Donny and his fossil-fueled fan club have gleefully hit the undo button on Biden’s ban on drilling in Alaska’s petroleum reserve - because we fucking can that's why.

Enter Dimwit Doug Burgum, a man best known for absolutely nothing. He proudly announced the reversal with all the nuance of a sledgehammer, prioritizing “energy dominance” (read: oil exec high-fives) over little luxuries like biodiversity, indigenous rights, or not turning pristine wilderness into a Chevron parking lot.

But let’s not pretend any of this was actually about policy - the whole thing reeks of pure, uncut spite. If Biden tied his shoes, these guys would be out here outlawing shoelaces and handing out velcro straps "for American greatness".

Congress Blinks While the Crown Tightens: Nadler’s Aide Kidnapped

In the latest episode of “How Many Branches of Government Can We Set on Fire Before Lunch?”, Donny's goons decided to kidnap a congressional staffer, because apparently checks and balances are now optional.

The aide to Rep. Jerry Nadler was snatched by Homeland Security under the laughably vague charge of “harboring rioters,” which in MAGA-speak translates to “working for a Democrat we don’t like.” No riot, no evidence, no problem — just another day in the banana republic cosplay known as Executive Power 2.0.

Meanwhile, Congress, that brave, mighty institution of accountability have responded with the spine of a boiled noodle. House Dems issued a statement so vague it might’ve been AI-generated from the words “soon,” “justice,” and “strategic patience.” Hakeem Jeffries basically threatened to maybe think about possibly doing something at some indeterminate time, in some unspecified way, just as soon as his horoscope gives the go-ahead.

The message to the executive branch? "yes, as you command your majesty"

Don't forget - everything bad is Biden's fault and those of immigrants

With all the class and sensitivity we've come to expect from Donny's circus, In the aftermath of the Boulder attack, the regime sized on the opportunity to blame his immigration status - and of course Biden for letting him in.

Biden, the criminal mastermind who also doesn't know what day of the week it is. Depending on the angle to suit. Interestingly, Biden is responsible for every single bad thing in America today. Republicans essentially today take this exact line and do it with a straight face.

So in essence, as we'd expect Donny's clown car have exploited a tragedy to further the message that immigrants are to blame for everything, they're all criminals and Biden is to blame for letting them all in. Makes sense.