Donny Set to Throw a Tantrum After Yet Another Nobel Snub
For the sixth year running, Dozy Donny’s long, tragic love affair with the Nobel Peace Prize has ended in humiliation — and, true to form, he’s taken it as well as a toddler denied dessert. Despite weeks of lobbying, self-promotion, and unsubtle threats, the Norwegian Nobel Committee once again passed him over, awarding the 2025 Peace Prize to Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado for her fight for democracy.
That’s right — democracy. The irony could power a small nation.
The White House is reportedly “furious” at the decision, though to be fair, Donny’s been raging for weeks. He’s leaned harder on Oslo than on half the dictators he’s hugged over the years, pressuring Norway to “do the right thing” (read: give him a trophy). Norwegian officials, bless them, have quietly admitted they’re “bracing for retribution.” Because when a man’s ego is this fragile, even Scandinavia isn’t safe.
Let’s put this in perspective: this is a president who’s
- threatened military intervention to take over Greenland,
- actually bombed Iran (illegally),
- and once suggested annexing Canada,
- deployed the National Guard against his own citizens
- posted this to social media:
Yet he still thinks he’s a peace icon because he got two men in the Middle East to shake hands and smile for the cameras, a peace that is yet to prove it'll last more than a week.
Donny would have been enormously inappropriate choice to win the Nobel Prize. You might as well offer it to Putin.
In Donny's world, peace isn’t about diplomacy — it’s about optics. If there’s a gold medal and a headline attached, he’s in. The rest is noise. His obsession with the prize has always been rooted in Obama envy — the one accolade he can’t buy, steal, or claim through a press release.
This year’s Nobel Committee made it clear that their decisions are based on “the original intentions of Alfred Nobel.” Naturally, that flew over Donny’s head like one of his drone strikes. Meanwhile, his fan club of international strongmen came rushing to his defense — Putin, of course, calling the snub a “shameful slight,” and Lukashenko chiming in about “Western stupidity.” When the dictator bloc forms your cheerleading squad, you might want to reconsider your brand.
Ever the diplomat, Donny took to Truth Social to congratulate himself anyway. “No one has done more for peace,” he wrote, likely pounding the keyboard in a fit of righteous fury, “than your favorite President.”
Sure, Donny. And no one’s done more for irony, either.
Anyway, for once in this god awful reality - Donny didn't get his way. And for that we can all rejoice.
Donny Sells the Homeland: Qatar Gets a U.S. Base, America Gets a Bribe
Analysis of Executive Action on Qatar
Assault on Democracy Authoritarian RiskRationale
The action reflects a tendency to bypass established norms and legislative processes, thereby undermining the principles of checks and balances fundamental to a democratic system. It also raises questions about the administration's commitment to international law.
Donny has committed another first. The first US president to authorize a foreign nation to establish a military base on U.S. soil — the first time in American history such a thing has ever happened. That’s right: Qatar, flush with billions and political leverage, now has an official foothold on American territory, all thanks to The Don’s latest executive order dressed up as “strategic cooperation.”
The order, rushed out after Israel’s strike on Qatari targets, declares that “any attack on Qatar’s territory or infrastructure will be considered a threat to U.S. peace and security.” Translation: The United States just became Qatar’s bodyguard. What’s a little sovereignty between friends when there’s cash and planes involved, right?
Let’s not pretend this is about “regional stability.” This is the plane bribe finally paying off — the reward for Doha’s long game of flattery and financial dangling. Remember those shiny new Qatari fighter jets purchased from American defense contractors? Well, apparently, they now come with complimentary U.S. soil attached.
This isn’t diplomacy; it’s feudal vassalage with better branding. The Mad King has essentially traded away a piece of the republic for a few headlines and a pat on the back from Gulf monarchs. What was once unthinkable — a foreign base inside the United States — is now a reality, normalized by a president who sees the Constitution as a suggestion and national pride as something to auction off.
Congress wasn’t consulted. The Pentagon wasn’t thrilled. But none of that matters in Donny’s America, where executive orders are written like IOUs to whoever flatters him next. The move not only undermines U.S. sovereignty but sends a crystal-clear message to the world: America is officially open for business — military real estate included.
So here we are: Qatar gets its base, The Don gets his payoff, and the American people get a front-row seat to the slow-motion sale of their own country.
Truly, a historic day — the day the landlord of Mar-a-Lago became the landlord of America.