The Don Sends Troops to Chicago Because of Course He Does
Analysis of Trump's National Guard Deployment in Chicago
Assault on Democracy Authoritarian RiskRationale
The deployment of the National Guard represents a militarization of local law enforcement, which can escalate tensions within communities. Additionally, it reflects a consolidation of power by bypassing state governance, thereby undermining state sovereignty and increasing federal overreach. This action can lead to perceptions of an authoritarian regime, especially when justified as a response to circumstances seen by many as exaggerated or politically driven.
Never one to waste a good crisis—or invent one if needed—The Don has ordered 300 National Guard troops into Chicago after a Border Patrol agent shot a woman during a traffic stop gone wrong. The official story? To “protect federal officers and assets.” The real story? Another made-for-TV performance of “Law & Order: The Trump Edition.”
Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, who apparently still lives in the real world, blasted the move as a “manufactured performance” and “un-American.” And he’s right. Chicago wasn’t burning, there were no riots, and the “lawlessness” The Don claimed existed was as imaginary as his grasp on constitutional limits. But why let facts get in the way of a dramatic show of force?
The shooting itself—an agent firing on a woman who allegedly tried to flee—should have sparked an investigation, accountability, and restraint. Instead, it sparked a military deployment. Because under The Don’s rule, the response to any spark is to pour gasoline and call it leadership.
This is the Mad King’s favorite play: federalize fear, militarize cities, and frame it all as “protection.” It’s the same tired authoritarian script—turn tragedy into theater, deploy troops to flex power, and call anyone who objects “weak.”
The Don’s obsession with sending soldiers into American streets isn’t about safety; it’s about dominance. Chicago doesn’t need more guns or uniforms—it needs sanity. But that’s in short supply in Washington these days.
Once again, The Don mistakes control for strength and chaos for command. And the rest of the country pays the price for his delusions of empire.
Kristi Noem's Bathroom Brouhaha
Let's get the world's smallest violin out for Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, after she was denied a bathroom break at a public building during her visit to an ICE facility in Broadview, Illinois.
She promptly blamed Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, claiming the incident was a direct result of Pritzker's policies. Noem's team was refused entry to the Village of Broadview Municipal Building, a facility that, according to Ice Clown, receives over a million dollars in federal funding annually.
Pritzker, fired back on CNN’s State of the Union: “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. People are booing her on the street. ICE is raiding neighborhoods where instead of going after bad guys, they’re just picking up people who are brown and Black.”
Boo fucking hoo. No one wants you clown possy in town Barbie, now Fuck Off.
Ice Barbie took to social media to express her outrage, labelling the incident as "absolutely shameful." In a video captured by conservative commentator Benny Johnson, a staff member inside the building can be heard firmly denying Noem's request, leading to a terse exchange.
Noem, ever the martyr, lamented the challenges faced by law enforcement, stating, "This is a real problem. I'm so proud of our officers that deal with this every single day."
Despite the bathroom debacle, Noem proceeded with her visit, accompanying ICE agents on a raid near a local Walmart store, as Clown Barbie is always keen to get in on the action rounding up brown people.