Donny Plays Host and Embarrasses Nation
Donny was once again playing host at the White House today, and what a circus it turned out to be. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy returned to the Oval Office, this time wisely bringing reinforcements. After his humiliating ambush back in February, Zelenskyy wasn’t taking any chances. Flanking him were heavyweights of European politics: UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, Finnish President Alexander Stubb, French President Emmanuel Macron, Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, and NATO Secretary-General Mark Rutte.
It was less a diplomatic summit and more like a school field trip to visit the class dunce. Donny must have felt very important sitting at the big table surrounded by serious leaders — all of whom were clearly more competent and better informed than the cretin presiding over the United States. Donny is always the stupidest person in the room, and today was no exception.
A Purpose Lost in Translation
For Zelenskyy, the purpose of the meeting was obvious: to find out what, exactly, Donny had given away during his cosy off-the-books limousine chats with Putin in Alaska last week. For Donny? Who knows. He never does. What could have been a critical strategy session was instead hijacked by Trump’s compulsive need to brag, lie, and turn international diplomacy into a live episode of Celebrity Apprentice: Dictator Edition.
Donny Pays a Few Compliments
The meeting descended into awkwardness when Donny, struggling to read the name cards, forgot who the Finnish President was — despite Alexander Stubb sitting directly opposite him. Stubb, exasperated, had to raise his hand like a schoolboy: “I’m here.”
Once he’d located Finland, Donny moved on to making weird, rambling compliments. He fixated on German Chancellor Friedrich Merz’s suntan:
"Where did you get that tan? I want to get that tan." Donny, August 18th 2025
World leaders came to discuss the future of Ukraine. Donny came to talk about spray tans.
Donny 'jokes' About an American War in 2028 Preventing an Election
During one part of their press conference, Donny latched onto a statement by Zelenskyy about pausing elections during wartime, and spun it to hint at the possibility of him outlasting his two-term limit in 2028.
"So you're saying during the war you can't have elections...so, let me just say, three and a half years from now... if we happen to be in a war with somebody, no more elections. Oh, that's good."
Take him at his word - Donny has no intention of leaving the White House.
Mail-in Ballot Rant
Cue Brian Glenn of MAGA channel Real America’s Voice, who lobbed Trump a softball about mail-in ballots. Donny pretended to scold him for being off-topic — then immediately launched into a 10-minute rant of pure fiction.
“you can never have a real democracy with mail-in ballots.” Donny, August 18th 2025
He claimed the U.S. is the only country in the world that allows it. I call bullshit. Most democracies — including, awkwardly, Russia — allow mail-in voting. In fact, Putin himself recently whispered this nonsense in Donny’s ear, as an obvious ploy to manipulate the man who is so easily fooled by flattery.
Interupted by a Call From Best Pal Vlad
The pièce de résistance? Donny stopped the meeting to take a call from his best pal, Vladimir Putin — happily leaving his guests (and their dinner plans) hanging while he yapped to the man he apparently can’t go a day without. The European leaders looked on, visibly uncomfortable, while Donny beamed like a schoolboy bragging about being friends with the playground bully.
Today’s spectacle wasn’t diplomacy. It was humiliation — for the U.S., for Zelenskyy, and for every ally forced to endure Donny’s rambling ego-trip. Once again, Trump showed the world he’s out of his depth, easily manipulated, and incapable of serious leadership.
Epstein Files
Oh - and despite all the distractions, it's probably worth mentioning that Donny's name is all over the Epstein Files which is why they've not released them.