Donny's Totally Unhinged Diary: Threats, Lies, and $3.3 Trillion Mistakes
29 June 2025
Dear Diary,
Wow, just wow! Today was another YUGE day, the best! I made headlines again, and boy, did I not hold back. Did you see my Fox News interview? Ratings through the ROOF! I threatened to cut off federal funds from New York City if that little commie, Zohran Mamdani, doesn't get in line. Fear not, because here in Donnyland, if you aren’t with ME, you’re against America—a pure communist, folks! No two ways about it. If you support living wages or tenant rights, you’re just a radical left lunatic, destined for the trash heap.
Meanwhile, poor Zohran is up to his neck trying to respond to me without losing his mind. I mean, come on! I’m just here to save America from the socialist apocalypse! He claims I focus on his looks and background instead of his policies. I call that smart politics! Who needs nuance? I run this show, baby!
Oh, and let’s not forget my incredible bill. The best, truly. Critics say it's going to add $3.3 trillion to the debt, but they don't understand! It's an investment in America! Sure, 12 million Americans could lose Medicaid, but who isn’t willing to sacrifice for the rich and powerful? I’m looking at YOU, Elon Musk! Even he jumped out from under his rock to call it "insane and destructive." Can you believe that? I guess in his world, fiscal responsibility is a buzzword.
The media hates it all, folks, just HATES it. They’re terrified of me and my big plans, and I LOVE it. Make America Great Again means making them squirm! Why should I care about pesky little things like the First Amendment or press freedom when it’s all about ME being celebrated? Some want to imprison journalists who dare to expose my “fantasy headline” about total obliteration in Iran—but I say, that’s not my problem!
So keep clapping, folks! While they whine and cry, we’ll keep winning bigly. And remember, if you're not MAGA, you're just a traitor. It doesn’t get simpler than that!
Love, Donny.
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