Donny's Diary

Dear Diary, today was absolutely unbelievable! We're talking about a massive military parade to celebrate my 79th birthday! I mean, WHO DOES THAT? Only the GREATEST, that’s who—me! And all those jealous haters are out there crying about it being authoritarian. News flash: they’re just mad I'm not handing out their precious participation trophies!

Speaking of trophies, have you seen my latest stunning image as the Pope? I posted it on Truth Social—ABOVE and BEYOND! Some think it's ‘tactless’ or that I’m a narcissistic fool. No! It’s ART! The mainstream media just can’t handle my creativity! I was busy being the best version of me while Sleepy Joe was snoozing through a real Pope’s funeral—pathetic!

Now let’s talk tariffs—25% on imported auto parts! That’s how you put America first, folks! Who cares if the consumer pays MORE? I know best! Just wait until the MAGA supporters thank me for bringing jobs back—who needs a great international economy when you can be a great, great nationalist?

And Mexico, oh Mexico. Claudia didn’t like my offer to invade for the drug cartels—how rude! You don’t just brush aside a King! Maybe if she had a GROWING economy like mine, she wouldn’t feel threatened.

It’s been a tremendous day, filled with real plans and winning ideas that drive the libs absolutely CRAZY! #MAGA #KingDonForever!