Donny's Diary

Dear Diary, what a day! First, let’s talk about that economic disaster—everyone’s saying it, and I totally agree, we’re talking about a crash that’s all on Biden. I did some huge tariffs, and WHAM, look what happened! I mean, does this guy even know how to run a lemonade stand? NO! But in Donny’s universe, I’m never at fault, never. Just ask anyone. Always pointing the finger, right at THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER—Biden! And oh, by the way, Obama was bad too, but Biden? He takes the cake.

Now, firing people? I had to let go of National Security Adviser Mike Waltz. Tough decision, very tough. The guy just couldn’t handle the pressure, I mean, come on! Now, he’s stuck at the UN, probably sweet-talking the Secretary General like a good little diplomat.

Then we had Stephen Miller, my wonderful mouthpiece, claiming I literally saved America! Can you believe it? The best thing since sliced bread, and I’m definitely NOT overcooking the story here. Inflation? What’s that? Just fake news making stuff up! All these whiny Dems can’t take it, folks.

Oh, and don’t get me started on prayer day. I made it all about me, and who wouldn’t? Let’s be honest: if Biden did this, the media would have a field day. He can't do anything right!

My new executive orders are going to make America GREAT again, all while keeping those pesky communists at bay. Trust me, separating church and state? Not in my America!

Remember, folks, it's all about WINNING—bigly! The Democrats don’t want us to win; their policies are all disasters. We’re doing things that nobody has ever done before, and we’re doing them HUGE! What a time to be alive in my presidency. Let’s keep making America the best, because if we don't, who will?!