Day 260: The Mad King's Militaristic Meltdown: Toys, Tanks, and Tactics

The Mad King Threatens Martial Law—Again

Never one to pass up an opportunity for melodrama, The Don has now floated invoking the Insurrection Act — the legal nuke that lets a president deploy the U.S. military against his own citizens. His latest outburst came as courts are still grappling with his blatantly unconstitutional deployments of National Guard troops to Illinois and Oregon. “We have an Insurrection Act for a reason,” he told reporters. “If I had to enact it, I’d do that.”

This isn’t the first time The Mad King has flirted with the idea of turning American streets into occupied zones, but it’s the most explicit threat yet. He made the comment just hours after a federal judge — in yet another spineless moment of judicial timidity — refused to halt his troop deployment in Chicago. Illinois and the city’s leadership, still fighting the decision in court, have called the move what it plainly is: a political stunt dressed up as national security.

Governor J.B. Pritzker blasted the president’s maneuver as “unlawful and unconstitutional,” accusing him of using “men and women in uniform as political props.” Illinois Attorney General Kwame Raoul was even blunter: “No American should live under the threat of military occupation simply because their state leadership has fallen out of favor with the president.”

But Donny isn’t listening. He’s too busy playing toy soldier with the real thing — boasting that he’ll deal with “the enemy within” and musing about using “dangerous cities as training grounds for our military.” It’s a sentence so grotesque it would’ve sounded unthinkable just a few years ago, but now it’s said from the White House lectern like he’s announcing a new golf course.

This latest escalation isn’t about security. It’s about dominance. It’s The Don’s fantasy of control made flesh — troops on the streets, blue states in submission, and the courts too timid to stop him. The Insurrection Act was designed for rebellion. Under Trump, it’s just another tool to silence dissent.

Judge Folds as Donny Marches the Troops In

In a grim reminder of how fast institutions crumble under pressure, a federal judge has refused to block The Don’s clearly unconstitutional order to deploy National Guard troops to Illinois — a decision that reeks less of judicial independence and more of capitulation under fear.

Governor J.B. Pritzker and Attorney General Kwame Raoul had filed an urgent motion to halt what they rightly called an unconstitutional invasion of their state. But instead of standing up to an obvious abuse of power, Judge Michael Newman meekly waved it through, offering the legal equivalent of a shrug. His ruling avoided the core issue of executive overreach, focusing instead on procedural technicalities — as if democracy itself were just an administrative inconvenience.

It’s the first time since 1965 that a president has federalized National Guard troops over a state’s objection. Back then, troops were sent to enforce civil rights. Now, they’re being deployed to undermine them. The difference is staggering, and the cowardice of the court only makes it worse.

By refusing to intervene, the judiciary has signaled that it will not — or cannot — stand in The Don’s way. The decision effectively greenlights the arrival of troops from Texas into Chicago, possibly as early as Tuesday, over the objections of Illinois’ elected leaders. What’s unfolding is not law and order — it’s power and intimidation masquerading as governance.

Pritzker called the deployment “a violation of state sovereignty.” Raoul warned that the ruling “sets a dangerous precedent where the president can occupy any state at will.” But their outrage has fallen on deaf ears.

This isn’t just judicial timidity — it’s surrender. Faced with a belligerent executive who governs by threat, the court blinked. And with that, the Mad King’s creeping authoritarianism just marched another few miles inland, boots polished and Constitution trampled underfoot.

The Don’s Loyal Speaker Pulls a Fast One to Delay Release of Epstein Files

In the latest episode of “Democracy, but Make It Petty,” House Speaker Mike Johnson — ever the obedient foot soldier for Dozy Don — has decided that newly elected Rep. Adelita Grijalva of Arizona can just sit tight before being sworn into Congress. His excuse? The government shutdown. The real reason? To keep her from casting a vote that could finally force the release of the Epstein files.

Grijalva, who won her special election nearly two weeks ago, should have been sworn in already — just like plenty of Republicans have been during shutdowns and pro forma sessions before her. But suddenly, procedure matters. Suddenly, the rules can’t bend. Suddenly, one Democrat’s oath of office is a national emergency.

Johnson swears it’s got “zero to do with Epstein,” which is, of course, the political equivalent of saying “trust me” right before you rob a bank. The timing says otherwise: Grijalva’s vote would tip the balance toward Democrats, who’ve been pushing to declassify the federal records that could shed new light on Epstein’s connections — including any that lead uncomfortably close to The Don’s inner circle.

This stunt isn’t subtle. It’s sabotage. It’s the slow, cynical corrosion of the democratic process that’s become the hallmark of this administration. By keeping a duly elected representative from taking her seat, Johnson is doing what Trumpworld does best — rewriting the rules in real time to protect their own.

Adelita Grijalva, daughter of the late progressive icon Raúl Grijalva, called the delay “an insult to my constituents and to democracy.” She’s right. It’s an insult — not just to her voters, but to anyone who still believes Congress should be more than a playground for Donny’s petty vendettas.

The Mad King doesn’t need to block votes himself anymore. He’s got Mike Johnson for that — smiling, sanctimonious, and ever ready to kneel before power while democracy waits in the hallway.

GOP’s Geography Fail: Oregon Protest Turns Out to Be South America

In his endless quest to turn liberal cities into campaign props, The Don tried once again to cast Portland as a burning dystopia — this time by ordering 300 California National Guard troops to “protect” federal facilities that weren’t under threat. The Oregon Republican Party dutifully played along, posting a sensational image of fires and chaos that turned out to be as fake as the crisis itself. Yes that's right, the images were actually from South America.

But for once, the judiciary didn’t flinch. A federal judge swiftly blocked the deployment, smacking down The Don’s latest attempt to use the military as his own personal stage crew in the theater of fear. The ruling was a rare moment of sanity amid the chaos — a reminder that not every institution has surrendered to the tantrums of a would-be autocrat.

The Don’s obsession with painting blue cities as lawless hellscapes has long been part of his political playbook. But this stunt was particularly cynical — a taxpayer-funded performance designed to gin up outrage, not ensure safety. Portland’s residents weren’t crying out for soldiers; they were living their lives, until The Don decided to manufacture a crisis for the cameras.

This episode perfectly captures the rot at the core of his administration: lies as policy, propaganda as governance, and the military as a campaign accessory. Even the judge’s intervention — a flicker of judicial backbone — only underscores how normalized this kind of authoritarian showmanship has become.

The Mad King doesn’t want order. He wants spectacle. And in Portland, he got exactly that — just not the ending he wanted.