Donny's Diary

Dear Diary,

What a day! I hosted a big league meeting at the White House with a bunch of European leaders. They all came to see me—huge honor! Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, this time more prepared, brought some serious backup—like they're gearing up for a school field trip, but I’m the ma... Read More

Dear Diary, today was truly something else—almost as wild as those rallies! I showed up on the White House roof, folks, and let’s just say it was tremendous! I was shouting to the reporters about how I’m GIFTING America by doing renovations to the White House. Who would’ve thought? It’s a real ma... Read More

Dear Diary,

Wow, just wow! Today was another YUGE day, the best! I made headlines again, and boy, did I not hold back. Did you see my Fox News interview? Ratings through the ROOF! I threatened to cut off federal funds from New York City if that little commie, Zohran Mamdani, doesn't get in... Read More

Dear Diary, folks, I just rolled out the most AMAZING initiative—it's called the 'Golden Dome.' Believe me, it’s gonna be HUGE! We’re talking about a space-based missile defense system that will protect America like never before. I mean, who doesn’t want lasers in the sky? It’s out of this world,... Read More

Dear Diary,

What a week! First, we had Elon Musk, the supposed genius, completely flop at saving the go... Read More