Donny's Diary

Dear Diary, wow, what a day it’s been! First, I delivered my Memorial Day speech at the beautiful Arlington National Cemetery. People were talking about it everywhere, and not just because I mentioned how I’m the greatest president. Can you believe the audacity? I honored our fallen soldiers and turned it into a very classy roast of the radical left!

I had to remind folks that they let 21 million criminals and crazies flood our beloved country! Open borders? Only an INCOMPETENT president would allow it - you got that, Joe? Those judges are a disgrace, letting murderers and drug dealers roam free. SAD! But fear not, folks, I’m making America great and safe again. #MemorialDay

Now, here’s a twist - tariffs! Just a few days ago, I was ready to slam the EU with tariffs like an angry toddler, but I decided to postpone them. Why? Because I can! I’m clearly playing 4D chess while the Democrats are stuck on checkers. They just don’t get it!

And speaking of crazy - I had to jump on the ol’ Truth Social to drop some truth bombs on Putin, calling him 'absolutely crazy' after his aerial assault on Ukraine. I mean, can you blame me? The Russian attacks are no joke, folks. The Kremlin called me 'emotional.' But please, that’s just me being a strong leader who cares!

So there it is, folks! Memorial Day like no other, tariffs postponed, and letting the world know I’m the best! Democrats can’t stand my greatness, but that’s their problem. Until next time, keep winning and God bless America!