Diary of a Mastermind: Cruelty, Politics, and Total Dominance
January 22, 2025
Dear Diary,
What a whirlwind of a day! I told myself, 'What’s our next act of cruelty?'—and boy, did we deliver! The first thing I did? Roll back the 2011 directive that protected immigrants in schools and hospitals. Who needs such minor things, right? Let’s give our brave immigration agents a chance to detain folks even at their grandma’s funeral if they want to! Basic humanitarian norms? Tossed into the trash. In my America, tyranny is not just a word, it’s a business model!
I signed Executive Order 14175. Sounds good, right? Re-designating Yemen’s Houthi rebels as a Foreign Terrorist Organization. Sounds impressive, but it’s all just for show! It makes people clap, but who cares if it complicates humanitarian aid? I mean, let’s be honest, it’s all about optics!
Oh, and then there was a big health-related move! Scrapped the COVID vaccine requirement for green card folks. Who needs science when you’ve got Trump Logic? I make decisions that grab attention—and it’s just perfect! I’m saving the people! Or am I? Who cares!
Next, I deployed 1,500 troops to the border. Not sure why—maybe for a little fun? A game of cards? Who knows! Just another way to flex my muscles! And honestly, if it doesn’t address immigration issues, who cares? Flexing is the name of the game!
Lastly, in a true ‘day one dictator’ moment, I yanked away some regulations on AI safety because they were from Biden! Regulations? We don’t need no stinkin’ regulations! Rules are for losers! Boom! Done!
Dems and Sleepy Joe can’t touch THIS. I’m making America great again, one outrageous act at a time! Can you believe it? What a time to be alive! Best president ever! Everyone agrees!
Until next time, You’re welcome, America!
—Donny
See More Diary Entries