Day 214: Donny's Wild Ride: Crimefighting, Grass, and Gutsy Redistricting

Donny’s Continues with the Washington is Gotham City Theme (With Grass)

So we're told that right now, Washington DC is facing a crime wave the likes of which no one has ever seen. It's a lawless hellscape, akin to Gotham City.

So what we need is a Batman, and Donny now thinks he's up to the job. Yes, really. At a rally he announced with full confidence that he was going to join the police and National Guard on some kind of patrol of Washington, D.C.

Of course that didn't fucking happen. What did happen is he rolled across the street to blither on incoherently again about grass. Because priorities.

Because when you're facing an imaginary crime crisis, the logical solution is, of course, better grass.

"One of the things we are going to be redoing is your parks. I’m very good at grass, because I have a lot of golf courses all over the place. I know more about grass than any human being I think anywhere in the world...

And we are going to be re-grassing all of your parks, all brand-new sprinkler systems, the best that you can buy. Just like Augusta. It’ll look like Augusta. It will look like, more importantly, Trump national golf club, that’s even better."

"We’re going to have all brand-new, beautiful grass. You know, like everything else, grass has a life. Do you know that? Grass has a life. You know, we have a life, and grass has a life. And the grass here died about 40 years ago."

What the actual fuck is he talking about?

This is basically almost a word for word repeat of the ramble he last gave on the grass in D.C almost [two weeks ago](first floated his fixation with the grass in Washingon.

Like some broken record, he circles back to the handful of things his brain can still vaguely comprehend — golf courses, sprinklers, and how “grass has a life.”

Meanwhile, Americans are struggling to pay their bills, entire cities are underwater, and the world is laughing at us. But Donny? He’s out here bragging about being the world’s foremost expert on lawns.

Let’s play the game: had Biden stood on the White House lawn muttering about the “life of grass,” what would the media have done? You know the answer. Endless wall-to-wall coverage, full-blown think pieces on his cognitive decline, the whole nine yards. But Donny? He gets a free pass because his derangement is baked in.

Batman? Please. This isn’t Bruce Wayne. It’s a senile old man who thinks a sod installation is a crime-fighting strategy. Gotham is safe, as long as the grass looks good.

Newsom Shows Dems How It’s Done

While Donny and his GOP stooges gleefully carve up Texas into a MAGA fever dream of gerrymandered districts, California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided he’s not just going to sit back and whine about it—he’s going to fight fire with fire.

Newsom signed a redistricting plan that could flip five Republican-held House seats and immediately called a special election. Translation: if Donny thinks he can cheat his way to five seats in Texas, California will hand him five losses on the West Coast. Balance restored.

In a press conference Newsom summed it up:

"We got here because the president of the United States is struggling. we got here because the president of the United States is one of the most unpopular presidents in U.S. history.

We got here because he recognizes that he will lose the election and Congress will go back into the hands of the Democratic Party next November. we got here because of his failed policies. those are being exposed hour by hour, reinforced today by Walmart announcing they’ll be raising prices, because of the tax increases. because of the tariffs."

Senate leader Mike McGuire commented:

And while Donny rages about “election theft” (projection, anyone?), Newsom keeps mocking him mercilessly on social media, parodying Donny’s rants and showing that ridicule can be a weapon too. Democrats, take notes: this is how you fight back. Not with polite press releases, but by punching back and laughing in Donny’s face while you do it. Donny can stand nothing more than being humiliated, though he does that for himself daily.

California’s move proves there’s still room for resistance in Donny’s America. For once, Democrats aren’t playing defense—they’re showing a little backbone. And honestly, it’s about time.

Donny’s New Game Show: “Are You a Terrorist?”

The Trump administration has decided the best use of its time and resources is to run a “comprehensive review” of 55 million foreign nationals with valid visas. How are they doing it? By essentially asking everyone the same question: “Are you a terrorist?”

The cost of this pointless witch hunt will run into billions. It's an unconscionable waste of time, resources and money - to say nothing of the human cost of hounding millions of innocent people.

Meanwhile, the fallout is already here. 6,000 international students have had their visas yanked, with the State Department essentially explaining with a straight face: “Some were involved in terrorism, others were guilty of expressing opinions in a democracy. It’s basically the same thing.” So much for that whole First Amendment thing. Apparently, peaceful protest and mass murder are interchangeable concepts in Donny’s America.

And if you thought this was just about students, think again. Secretary of State and Soul Seller 'lil Marco Rubio has decided to halt worker visas for commercial truck drivers. His reasoning? Foreign drivers are “endangering American lives and undercutting American truckers.” Translation: prepare for supply chain chaos. The shelves will be empty, but hey—at least they’ll be empty in a patriotic way.

The administration insists this is all about keeping Americans safe, but let’s be real: this is about fearmongering and silencing dissent. Free speech? Out the window. Due process? Who cares. The economy? Collateral damage.

So here we are. Students deported for protesting, truckers banned for being foreign, and a government busy playing 55 million rounds of “Are You a Terrorist?” while the real problems pile up.

RFK Jr. Plays Anti-Vax Messiah, Federal Health Workers Beg Him to Stop

Hundreds of federal health employees have basically had enough of Health Secretary and witch doctor Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s deranged crusade against science and reality. In a begging letter, they pleaded with him to stop spreading dangerous health misinformation—you know, the kind of crap that just got someone radicalized enough to open fire at CDC headquarters in Atlanta.

These aren’t fringe criticisms. These are his own staff warning that his endless campaign against vaccines and his cuts to health programs are literally putting lives at risk. Infectious disease detection? Hollowed out. Chronic disease prevention? Gutted. But don’t worry, RFK Jr. is laser-focused on calling the CDC a “cesspool of corruption” and dismantling vaccine research. Because who needs cancer breakthroughs or HIV treatments when you’ve got conspiracy podcasts?

And this isn’t new. In 2019, Kennedy flew to Samoa and spread his vaccine garbage right before a measles outbreak that killed 81 people, most of them kids. Fast forward to today, and he’s canceling hundreds of millions of dollars in mRNA research funding—the technology that helped save millions of lives during COVID and could’ve been a game-changer for cancer. But nah, let’s scrap that so RFK Jr. can keep his anti-vax fanboys happy.

The workers’ message couldn’t be clearer: your words are inspiring violence, your policies are crippling public health, and your obsession with junk science is leaving America wide open to the next outbreak. But RFK Jr.? He’s still playing the role of prophet, the martyr standing against “corruption,” even as his rhetoric helps push people toward actual terrorism.

This isn’t health policy. It’s state-sanctioned disinformation. And Americans will be the ones paying the price.