Donny's Diary

Dear Diary,

What a day! I hosted a big league meeting at the White House with a bunch of European leaders. They all came to see me—huge honor! Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, this time more prepared, brought some serious backup—like they're gearing up for a school field trip, but I’m the main attraction! You've gotta see this—Keir Starmer, Merz from Germany, Macron, and even that Italian gal Meloni—what a lineup, folks!

But you know what? I felt the smarts pouring out of that room. I was the smartest person there, and that says a lot! Everyone knows I’m a genius! But the media won’t say that—fake news!

Now, Zelenskyy was clearly trying to figure out what I gave away during those ‘friendly chats’ with Putin. Who knows? Maybe I gave him a couple of my best golf tips!

I tried to make a compliment but mixed it up. I mean, who could forget Finland? Oops! I asked Merz where he got that tan. I want that tan. It’s GORGEOUS! Maybe we can open a tan business—Tanning by Trump!

Then, during the press conference, I jokingly suggested that if we’re in a war, I might just skip elections in 2028. Just a little joke, folks! But don’t you know, the Democrats are panicking! They’re so terrified of me! So weak!

And then there's this mail-in ballot nonsense! I told them, ‘You can’t have democracy with mail-in ballots!’ Can you believe it? They keep saying other countries do it—LIES! I heard it from Putin himself—big mistake! These Dems, they want to turn us into Russia! Sad!

The best part? I had to take a call from my best buddy, Vlad. Left these leaders hanging like sad puppies—totally worth it! They were all looking at me, waiting—so funny!

Today was a real circus, folks, an absolute delight! While they thought we were having serious talks, I was just having my regular Donny fun. Tremendous man, tremendous meeting, and I am, without a doubt, the best in history.

P.S. By the way, my name popped up in those Epstein Files—gotta love the fake news trying to bring me down! They can’t get me, folks! I’m Trump!