Bizarre Roof Rants and Renovation Revelations
August 5, 2025
Dear Diary, today was truly something else—almost as wild as those rallies! I showed up on the White House roof, folks, and let’s just say it was tremendous! I was shouting to the reporters about how I’m GIFTING America by doing renovations to the White House. Who would’ve thought? It’s a real makeover! Very classy.
But the DEMOCRATS, they’re just jealous. They love to talk trash. They say I’m losing it—COGNITIVE DECLINE! Can you believe that? I’m still the smartest guy in the room! I mean, what’s better than yelling from a rooftop? That’s presidential behavior if I’ve ever seen it!
Some say it was a press conference, some say it was performance art, and others think it was a hostage situation! But trust me, nobody’s holding me hostage—this is all FREE!
And guess what? I had my pants on the whole time! Not like the other guys! And the media? They didn’t know how to handle it; it’s hilarious! They’ll spin it, of course, they always do. SAD!
Meanwhile, Biden? He’s still fumbling, can’t even ride a bike without crashing! What a JOKE! The Democrats are TERRIBLE at everything, but I’m still here, making waves.
Remember, it’s about WINNING! And only I can do that! Keep watching, America! BIG THINGS are coming!
