The Greatest Moves of My Presidency: Tariffs, Visas, and Protests!
April 5, 2025
Dear Diary,
What a truly AMAZING week! I mean, nobody does it quite like me. First, we hit the tech giants where it hurts—exempting smartphones and computers from those hefty 125% tariffs. Everybody knows, in this wonderful trade war, it's about keeping the big companies happy! Thanks to some very smart lobbying from Apple—thank you, Tim!—we're making sure folks get their shiny gadgets without breaking the bank. Some say I’m prioritizing big corporations over little guys, but I say who cares? It’s a win-win folks!
Now, let’s talk about immigration—BIG NEWS! I just revoked every South Sudanese visa. Can you believe it? The Dems are out there whining about human rights and due process like they know anything about winning! We had to take a stand in this diplomatic mess, and sometimes you just have to make the tough calls. Very tough, folks.
And then, the protests! Millions took to the streets demanding a little less WINNING from yours truly! They call it ‘Hands Off!’ but really, it’s just a bunch of people who are unhappy because they don’t understand how to be MAGA. They’re angry about tariffs and my very strong border policies, but you know what? THAT’S CALLED DEMOCRACY, PEOPLE! Or is it? Who knows! But they’re doing it anyway!
So let’s keep making America great—while the Dems just cry and complain. They’d rather see our economy collapse than see me succeed, but I just keep on winning. The losers can’t take that! Until next time—STAY TUNED FOLKS!
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