Trump's Terrific Tariffs and Tremendous Layoffs!
April 1, 2025
Dear Diary, what a DAY for America! On April 1, 2025, I made a HUGE announcement—UNIVERSAL 10% tariffs on imports! That’s right, folks! I’m bringing back America’s glory, and if you don’t like it, tough! China, get ready for a WHOPPING 145% tariff! That’s going to teach them!
The markets? Oh boy, they took a little tumble—big league! It was the biggest drop since the pandemic, and you know what? The Democrats probably threw a party. They LOVE chaos! But we hit the brakes for 90 days on most countries—except for China. Gotta keep them on their toes!
And speaking of big moves, I terminated the 'de minimis' rule. You know this one? The one allowing duty-free imports under $800? Gone! Kaput! Now it’s a 30% tariff! Perfect for those fashionistas relying on cheap Chinese stuff. Bye-bye, Shein and Temu! They’ll learn what real business is!
Oh wait, here’s a kicker—thanks to my buddy Elon Musk, we’re draining the swamp with MASSIVE layoffs of federal workers. 60,000 people, just like that! Some people say it’s risky; I say it’s genius! Who needs all that government spending anyway? Let’s cut the fat! CDC teams? Gone! Bye-bye, bureaucrats!
Meanwhile, Sleepy Joe and those Democrats keep whining. They love to whine! But I’m doing what’s best for America, and they just can’t handle it! I’m making America GREAT AGAIN—AGAIN!
Let’s keep winning, Diary! Nobody can stop us!
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